I Hate You, Please Don't Leave

Deja Vu's First Concert

No amount of time will make me love you less <3

Liam POV

Pain.

Love is pain.

Like the pain I feel now.

I want to do it.

They say the bullet barely missed my brain.

Well I want to do it.

Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brains.

Bella POV

"YOU FUCKING BITCHES!"I screamed. Everyone stared at me thrashing around while I was tied up. I was mad. Not angry mad, mad mad. The little girl went insane from trauma. All little girls do. The pretty girl knows Ana. The queen bee's been self harming and knows Ana. Ana anorexia. So pretty. So perfect. Giving you an image of beauty and perfection. Everything you want. She compliments you on your skinny frame. Calls you beautiful. Sweet sweet Ana.

"Bella, if it weren't for us you'd still be in the house."Zayn said.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR!"I ripped the cloth holding me down.

"Bella,"I bit someone's hand. She screamed. Koko.

"GET OUT!"I broke the last two restraints. I remember when I was in the hospital in eight grade and chased a nurse with a knife. I was about to do that. Oh killing. Not limited to one person. Not just Andi. I tore the covers off and grabbed a syringe.

"GET OUT!"I screamed. Everyone backed away. I threw it at someone and rolled my eyes. Escape. Just like me and Tani. Someone grabbed my throat and threw me to the ground. My head cracked hard against the tiles.

"Sorry babe."Tani gave me to the guards.

"You....."I managed out before the potent tranqs took me under.

Liam POV

If I had a gun I'd paint it in red

To let them know I was always dead.

I'd paint it in scarlet like the blood from my arms

After I commit the act of self harm.

If I had a gun I'd paint the walls

In brains and in blood.

I'll put down a towel when I fall so my tears don't flood.

If I had a gun

I'd put your name on the bullet and shoot it through my heart.

Maybe then you'd know we weren't supposed to be apart.

So buy me a gun and paint it in red. To let them know I'm dead in the head.

Let me live, let me die,

Let me kill my little lie.

Koko POV

"I've never seen Bella so angry."I whispered.

"When she laughs and gets the high pitched tone is when its worst."Aleks said.

"She told you?"I knew already. She trusts Aleks more than anyone.

"I've known since the summer."She smiled and walked into Liam's room.

Bella POV

My wounds didn't hurt. I was in a rubber room. I got up and banged on the door. There must be a mistake. I didn't.....

Tani. I threw the syringe at Tani.

"TANI!"I screamed."TANI OPEN UP!"

A guard gave me some food.

"WHERES TANI!"I screamed.

"Sorry, I cant-"

"Please just let me out."my voice shook. My eyes filled with tears.

"Fine."He let me run. I raced around the halls. Tani. I had to...

"TANI!"I hugged her and cried into her arms. She stroked my hair. "Bella, I'm sorry."She whispered. I looked at Liam's leg. Now amputated up to middle thy. He woke up at the sound of my voice, but shook his head and fell back asleep. I knew it was because of me.

Kenna POV

"BELLA! GET UP!"I jumped on her hospital bed.

"Is it another get back with Liam thing, because I'm with Tani now."She groaned.

"ITS THE CONCERT!"She shot up and ran out of the hospital with me. We got in Liam's rape van and drove as fast as we could to the stadium.

"BELLA GET IN HERE NOW!"Koko grabbed Bella and started doing her makeup."UGGHHH! DID YOU SLEEP AT ALL THIS MONTH!?"

I chalked my hair pink and got dressed into the dress that looked like an umbrella. Bella had her usual. A leather jacket and a T-shirt with black skinny jeans and combat boots.

We heard a gunshot. Liam. He's supposed to be...

He is here.

"GUYS LOOK FOR LIAM!"I yelled.

"HE'S IN THE BATHROOM! HE-HE'S BLEEDING!"Koko screamed. He had the gun against his stomach. He coughed up some blood.

"I'm sorry."His eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"Someone call 911!"Bella was strangely calm. All she was doing was fidgeting with her hands.

"I'm an unfeeling monster."She whispered.

Bella POV
I can't feel.
I can't feel anything.
Pain.
Happiness.
Sadness.
I'm a corpse.

"BELLA WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PHONE!?"Koko screamed. I pulled it out of my boot and stared. Nothing anyone said mattered anymore. All I could hear was my demons. And all they screamed was feel.

I'm incapable of feeling.

I looked again.

And it hit me.

I fell to my knees and started to bawl. This was all my fault. Liam's suicide attempts, they were my fault. I touched the face that I loved and looked into those horribly vacant eyes.
What have I done?

"Bella,"Tani pulled me into her arms. It was my new safe haven. I closed my eyes and curled up into her.

"It'll be okay."She whispered.

"No."I got up and stormed out. I had to choose. And whichever I choose will tear me apart.

O shit CX. Sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVERRRR but I will make up for it. Who do you think she'll choose?
Vote
Comment
Love you sexy potatoesss
-Bella