"So you're telling me that your my grandmother?" I asked, probably in a bitchier tone than needed.
She nodded her head without breaking her eye contact with me.
"Your mom and I didn't have a very good relationship when she was younger, so she didn't want me in your life," her head dropped, "and I respected that."
"But you're talking to me right now," I replied in a snotty manner. I really needed to get my attitude under control, it just seemed to be getting worse.
"Don't act stupid. I know you're running away, and I know it's because of your mother." I flinched at the words rolling off of her tongue.
"How do you know it's because of her?" I could feel tears of anger begin to flood my eyes. "You've never met me and you know nothing about me, so stop acting like you do!" I sobbed. She tried to comfort me but I refused to let her. I didn't even know why I was upset. There was just so much change happening and I didn't think I could handle it. My legs became weak and I couldn't help but to fall to the floor.
There I was, helplessly laying in the floor of my unfamiliar grandmothers workplace with some immature boy that I hardly knew waiting for me outside. Why did I do this to myself? What the fuck was I thinking?
My grandmother kept attempting to lift me off the ground as I constantly screamed and scooted as far away as I could from her. She was a reminder of my mother, someone who I never, ever wanted to be reminded of again.
I could feel my heart racing and my breathing becoming heavier. The last thing I needed was a fucking anxiety attack right then. I kept looking around for someone to save me, but deep down I knew that I didn't really have anyone. I was alone, scared, and the world felt as if it was caving in on me. The last thing I felt was a large hand press against my cheek in hope to comfort me, and it did. I finally felt at peace to let go for while.
(damn I'm so sorry guys! it's been so long since I've updated and I'm so sorry! schools just been terrible lately but i finally got a break today, so I decided to write again. I just realized how much I've missed it. I'll be updating more often now that I feel like I've got my life under control again! thanks for sticking around & reading, it means a lot!)
