Tiffany's notebook.

Clairvoyant

(Alex)

Caitlin and I were arguing again.

I hate arguing with her. Most of the time it doesn’t end well for me, it doesn’t matter if I’m right or wrong, I still end up with the short end of the deal. Usually I go to my buddy Zack’s house, or some motel in downtown Baltimore.

Tonight it was about her cat. I don’t like this cat and you’d think that after three years of living together Gizmo and I would have a better relationship. At most a mutual relationship, like those ‘I feed you; you don’t attempt to gouge my eyes out when I come within two feet of you’ things.

But no, Gizmo the fat cat and I were never going to get a long and, as long as Caitlin had a say in it, the cat was never going to leave our house. The messed up thing is that Gizmo didn’t like Caitlin much either. She would let Caitlin cuddle her sometimes. But other than that, it was ‘leave me be or you die’.

All I tried to do was get the thing off my guitar that had been off balanced (probably by the dumb cat) and had fallen to the floor. The problem was that Gizmo had been pretty comfortable with her perch on the black case, so even if God had wanted her to move, she would not have.

I really wish I wouldn’t have given my best friend Jack my second guitar before he moved to New York. If I still had it than maybe I wouldn’t have had to yell at the dumb cat. Caitlin should have just found some chill, but instead she decided to yell at me about everything that I’ve been doing wrong. She makes me feel so useless sometimes. Tonight’s argument featured my recent unemployment streak. There just aren’t any jobs around. I’ve been trying like hell, but that’s just not good enough.

So as I sit on the half decently made bed of The Vacancy – a motel- I cant help but think about all the ways I could have changed so many things. If I wouldn’t have been a jerk to Gizmo the Queen of jerks, I may not be crying alone in an empty hotel room.

She hasn’t called yet, it has been 5 hours. She usually calls by now. Maybe forever wasn’t actually forever. Maybe this time it was for good. If only these good memories in my brain would allow me to remember all the bad ones, and help make missing her not as hard.

But for now, I would be haunted with memories of a girl I was completely in love with.