The unexpected

CARLA

March 1st 2019

A small candle burned in the corner. It flickered a light across your face, creating a swarm of shadows around the room. It burned bright, but not enough to keep the darkness away; it still lingered, swimming around us.

I looked into your dark grey eyes; they used to warm my whole body with one look, now they sent a shiver down my spine. A swarm of goosebumps marred my soft skin, while the fair hairs on my arms stood to attention.

It was cold, dark, gloomy, yet the candle kept burning, trying to shine a light on our mournful bodies while we stood in darkness.

Silence erupted throughout as nobody dared speak; nobody moved, we all just stood frozen. Frozen from death; Your death.

As everybody left the chapel of rest, I made my choice to stay a little longer. I wanted to be on my own with Max.

"You know, you could of told me about the money?" I said. The room finally empty.

I sighed, taking a step closer to his body.

"I wish I knew why you didn't. Was there a reason? Is there something else I don't know?"

I noticed my voice getting agitated, and had to take a shaky breath to calm myself down. This wasn't the place or the time for me to get angry at him.

"I'm sorry" I cried.

Being alone was making me more teary, and more jittery. The room sent shivers across me. I suppose standing in a dark room with a dead body would do that.

I decided to leave, I couldn't be here any longer. The room was overwhelming, and I was already hurt over everything that happened.

Looking at him I said, "I love you, goodbye Max"

And then I slipped out the room. Everything felt final, but we still had the funeral tomorrow. Just the thought made me ache all over. I wanted the stress to disappear, my husband to come back, and have no secrets. Only I couldn't.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

My best friend, Alison, had been waiting outside in the reception area for me.

"Hmm, I don't know" I shrugged.

"Come here" she pulled me in a hug, and I let my body fall into her. I needed someone to just hold me.

"Let's go home, tomorrow is going to be stressful enough"

I nodded, and we strolled out.

The next morning felt weird. I knew something was happening, but it all just felt surreal. Today I would officially say goodbye to Max. Yesterday felt final, but now today had come around, it didn't. I could feel the tears pricking the back of my eyes.

'Today would be the last day you would be here' I thought, as I looked over at our photos on the bedroom wall.

A sickening, panicked feeling rolled through me. My whole body shook and tingled with anxiety, throwing goosebumps all over me.

"Carla?"

James stood in the door way with Alison, as I broke down in the middle of the carpet.