Trapped in issues

My life so far

(Virgil's POV)

   Hi, I'm Virgil and this is just a little story about everything that is wrong with me, or my life in general. But before I get into that I guess I have to explain who I am, soo let's get on with that. My name is Virgil, like I said earlier, and I'm a stupid depressed teen with an anxiety disorder. I live with a shitty mom who gambles all our money for stupid games she never wins and my dad is off with his friends in Vegas 24/7. The only time I really get to see him is once every three months if I'm lucky. I also go to a public school filled with assholes. The only person I have and trust is named Patton. I mean, sure, other people talk to me, for example, Logan, but I still don't trust them. As I stated, I have an anxiety disorder that has an amazing deal of "If you get it early, you'll get trust issues with it!" So the trust issues caused me to push away anyone who cared for me. Luckily for me, Patton was persistent and stayed with me no matter how much of an asshole I was. Also, what I mean by pushing people off is that I lost one of my closest friends. His name was Remy, and I guess you could say the reason I haven't talked to him is because he moved but there's more to it! Right before he moved I started ignoring him because I thought he was being my friend just because he was bored and never actually cared for me. Did I have any proof to help my hypothesis? Nope. Did I jump to conclusions and push off a really great friend who's been there for me ever since birth? Yes. Oh and no I can't call or text him because I blocked him while having a panic attack.

   Before you ask about all that love crap, I'll have to say, yes I have a crush, but don't think I'm gonna give it up to you. You, the reader, will have to try to figure it out yourself until the writer eventually gives it away. "What about bullying? Do you get bullied?" I hear you ask. And if you didn't ask, just act like you did so I don't look like an idiot. Moving on, the answer to the question is yes. You shouldn't be surprised, I mean have you seen/ read any of the stories on Wattpad that include me. I'm always bullied or abused. "Who's the bully?" You ask. And the answer is, well... I don't know how to put it because they're not really bullies. Well, one is. The other one just hates me, but he isn't mean to me he just... Ignores me. The one who is a total asshole is named Janus. The one who just ignores me is named Roman. Roman used to pick on me when he was close with Janus, but they ended up fighting over something and don't talk to each other anymore. I've heard them talk shit about each other but, to be honest, I don't care about there drama, any drama to be exact. I even know that there are rumors about me all over the school and I hear some people snicker whenever they see me, but I could care less. Patton seems to care though and always sticks up for me, and I thank him for that, but I wish he didn't. The reason behind this is because whenever he sticks up for me he justs get made fun of and I don't want to drag him down with me. I'd rather just be made fun of then to have my friends be made fun of as well. I even try my hardest to explain this to him, but of course, he doesn't listen.

   To distract me from the torture that is, well... life, I draw or paint if I'm in the mood. When I paint, I like to put my emotions on the canvas by splattering paint all over it and then drawing some "edgy shit" over it. The reason why I call it edgy shit is because that is what everyone calls it and I'm too lazy to be mad at them for it. Like the saying, if you can't beat them, join them. And from the scars on my arm, I think you can tell I can't beat them. I carry my sketchbook with me at school and I try my best to hide it in my bag but I know it's just a matter of time before someone snatches it and looks in it. I do have two sketchbooks though and the one I bring is the one without my personal stuff in there because, going against popular beliefs, I am not an idiot. I don't want to have another reason to be the clown of the school. Because believe me, there's enough reasons already.

   I personally think that's enough personal information for now. If I missed anything I'll make sure to add it in later or whatever. Anyways, here's where I start. Walking to hell, aka school.

(Thanks for reading! If you like it give it a vote! I'm new to writing so if yu have any tips put them in the comments. See you later my queer Disney royalty!)