My secret companions

Full on the lips

"I've released my grip on you and now look where you are" said a soft voice when I realized I was sitting on a thick branch of that pine tree. "How did I get here?" I asked jerking back from the surprise.

I was indeed sitting on the branch of the pine tree but I did not come here the usual way. No meditations, no half-sleeping and certainly no looking around for them since they had apparently found me first.

"I just went to bed but I didn't think I was going to meet you here, certainly I wasn't looking to talk to you today". "So, not pleased to see me?" "That's not what I meant" I corrected myself quickly, I just didn't expected it that's all.

A thin woman turned from around the tree trunk coming into view. She was wearing her classic black and white suit holding her short staff like some holds a baby in one arm. With an ample smile she came closer to me and sat next to me. Her feet hanged down swinging, one in front of the other.

"I've released my grip on you and now look where you are" She said slower and emphasysing every word. "I thank you for letting me go" She turned to look at me with a fixed stare, "...I mean, to release your grip on me but now I can go places without feeling weird and now I can think of things that I never thought of before" I said in a soft tone. "But you now stopped being careful of what you eat, taking the necessary precausions for work and not caring about yourself enough. Fearless leads to self destruction. "It may also lead to hapiness" I came back with a smart comment. She kept her eyes on me for a couple of seconds and then smiled what I thought was a genuine smile. "I'm glad you can carry on with your life and that now you don't have to second guess yourself".

"I never did that" said I.

"Sure you did. Always. But it's perfectly O.K. since everyone does it around me. It's what makes me be me. You're afraid of making a mistake". I turned to look down at the base of the tree, "and with a little more pressure you can go paranoid" I finished her sentence but she seemed not to laugh. "At least you would be safe".

That was not the answer I was looking for of course but I didn't get a chance to answer for she stood up in a heartbeat and walked to end of the branch. "Just don't get too cocky that's all" she said looking into the emptyness of a white sky. She then turned and we locked eyes. "I won't I promise." She held the glance for a moment after which she said "I believe you but I don't trust you". I was really surprised by the comment since I always thought they were the same or at leat they meant the same. "Don't trust me? How can you say that?" "Which would you want me to answer first", she asked. "Both, please" I said trying to sound firm.

"I believe that you want to be careful and that being careful is what will be best for you. But I don't trust you since that does not always depend on you. There are so many things that can go wrong. You can eat something bad, drink too much, fail yourself". I had never seen it like that. It was at that time that I knew exactly what she meant by all that speech and deep inside I believe she realized it as well, quickly signing off with an ample smile and a twirl of her staff.