everything you never said

03. mina

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WEDNESDAY is my favourite day of the week. I could never really put it into words, but Wednesday was the definition of mediocre - and hence forgotten. Mondays are universally disliked, but that means people actually have certain feelings for them, and hate has always been better than indifference. Since I had a thing for the underdogs, I took it upon myself to be the unspoken saviour of a weekday.

Even to myself, I sounded like an idiot.

A tap on my shoulder startled me out of my daydreams, and I turned around to see Beverly Moore's angelic face.

Do you ever have a seething hatred against someone you barely know? You have no rational reason to hate them, but the very sight of their smiling face and immaculate features brings out this deep, festering abhorrence that you cannot push down. I often wondered how I could hate her, because she was such an angel. Though she was the one of the most popular people in Larned High, she was always kind to everyone she talked to. Somehow, that just made me detest her more.

Of course, I couldn't let this misplaced resentment show, and as much as I wanted to scream at her face when ever she offered me that fake sympathy, that would just be like kicking a puppy. So I turned around with a smile plastered tightly to my face.

'Hey, Beverly! Anything I can help you with?'

She gave me a bright smile.

'Mina, call me Evie. Beverly makes me sound like some rich, spoiled brat.' She paused, and then chuckled. 'Thought I wouldn't blame you if you came to that conclusion.' 

I tilted my head and looked at her, smiling. 

'Walk with me?' 

✧

'Can I ask you something?'

I was sitting on a park bench, fiddling with a twig. Noah had convinced me to meet him, after school here, for our English project - something I still couldn't believe was legitimate.

I wondered why people were so nervous around each other. The thing is, we've been dying ever since we were born. And yet, we are painfully insecure about how we look and what we say, how we act: whether we're too desperate or playing hard-to-get. I wondered why people didn't just say exactly what they wanted to, because the truth is, you were bound to forget it ever happened in less than a week. But I was being a hypocrite right now, because things like that are easier said than done.

Turning to Noah, (who seemed to be entranced by a fallen leaf on the ground), I repeated my question.

'Yeah, sure, but on one condition.'

I gave him a questioning look, and suddenly felt a little foolish.

'I get to ask you a question too.'

I sighed in relief.

'Why do people call you Flint?'

He groaned, a low sound that took me by surprise, making me shudder slightly.

'It's stupid. People.. are stupid.'

I noticed a faint blush on his cheeks, and grinned.

'What a revelation, Noah. People are stupid.'

He played along with me, grinning wide, a twinkle in his eyes.

'You're so right. I can't believe nobody's come to that conclusion before. Also, what do you think of soulmates?'

He asked it like it was a perfectly normal question, like What's the weather like? or How are the kids?

I opened my mouth to answer, but he beat me to it,

'That was weird, I don't know what I was thinking. I, you know what? Forget I asked that. Please.'

An uncomfortable silence grew between us. I remembered what I thought about a few seconds ago, and decided I would finally say what I meant.

'I'd like to think they existed. I know this sounds silly, but I think some people are drawn to each other, because their atoms were close to each other when the universe began. And over time, those atoms keep coming back to each other.'

He looked at me with a small smile.

'I don't think that's silly. I think it's beautiful. And for a person with such a hatred for words, you seem to be quite poetic.'

'If I am, I don't mean to. I'm not a romantic, Noah. I don't want to fall in love.'

'You say that like it's a choice, Mina.'
He paused, but curiosity gets the best of him - it happens to the best of us.

'But why?'

'Easy. I don't want my happiness to depend on whether someone gives me attention or not. I don't want to smile at their messages and stay up late talking to them. I don't want to cry for someone who probably doesn't even care. Most importantly, I don't want to give anyone the ability to destroy me ever again.'

He said nothing, but his eyes held a sadness I could relate to. I took this time to look at him, and I mean really look at him. I looked at his eyes that crinkled when he smiled - and that was almost always. I wondered how he could give out smiles so freely, so liberally, when they were so beautiful.

'It's sad,' He said, finally.

'What is?' She asked.

'I asked you about love and you spoke only of heartbreak.'

I did my best to blink the tears from my eyes.

'Do you want to begin our project?' Noah asked, standing up suddenly and dusting himself off.

I gave him a light smile. 'I thought you'd never ask.'

He walked us to a yellow bicycle. He got on, and then looked at me expectantly.

'You think I'm getting on that cycle? I'm sorry, but I could probably walk faster than you could ride that.'

Noah raised an eyebrow, and smirked. He began pedalling, and by the time I blinked he was 5 meters away. I stood, transfixed, before I remembered what I was doing. I started running in his direction as fast as my legs could take me, and it was exhilarating. When I was going that fast, I couldn't see the rest of the world. It was just me, and the wind, and the sky and the road in front of me. I laughed then, a deep, throaty laugh that came from my stomach. I hadn't laughed in forever, I thought to myself. I laughed because even the my feet were sore and my head felt light, I was smiling wide and I realised, I finally felt alive.

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heyyyyy y'all!
this is chapter 3. I'm honestly not that proud of this chapter, but I need y'all's opinion- do you think noah and mina are moving too fast? Anyway, please, vote and comment and give me feedback! I'm always looking forward to advice. Thank you!
Love,
Sanjana <3