Absolute

21

"Sang? Sweetie? Can you hear me? Are you okay? You're safe."

His words made sense, but at the same time, my brain refused to believe it. I could feel my body shaking, and I tried to run through my memories. How had I gotten in this bed? My fingers splayed out in the sheets, and the silk had me snatching my hands back. I folded them in my lap and released a breath that shook my body in the process.

"Can you hear me, Sang?"

I blinked again. I knew it was Doctor Green who'd spoken, I knew he was sitting right there but... there was something wrong with my hand. I looked down at them, realizing for the first time that I had a cast on.

I finally managed to make myself look at the good Doctor. Around the same time Gabriel popped up from the floor.

"What's happening?"

For some reason I felt like perhaps this was a dream. I couldn't connect how I'd gotten from confronting my father to laying in a bed I'd never seen before. I rubbed the edges of the cast, and something sparked my memory.

Me throwing my fist out at my fathers face. Mom laying at the bottom of the stairs. Marie screaming. Mr. Blackbourne yelling. Green eyes. The stairs, how it felt tumbling down them.

"Did I kill her?" I asked before anyone could answer my original question.

Gabriel crawled onto the bed and towards where I sat. He settled in next to me, wordless in his actions, but he reached out and captured my hand in his. I wanted to pull myself away, sure that I didn't deserve comfort right now. I'd taken a life, I didn't deserve comfort.

But Gabriel's hand was shaking, and his anxiety took me out of my own head and gave me something to focus on.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice dropping some of the stress as I tried to understand him.

He laughed then, so loud that it made me flinch. Dr. Green's hand came up to rub my shoulder as Gabriel shook his head at me.

"Fuck that, don't ask me how I am. You didn't kill her, she fell down the stairs after ripping you up them and got what that bitch deserved."

"Mr. Coleman," the voice at the door was sharp and disapproving, his eyes were full of untamed anger. The steel within them had impossibly hardened. "You can leave this room, now."

He said it as if he was giving Gabriel permission, but I knew it was somehow and order. I tightened my hand in Gabriel's. His words had an effect on me, but it didn't mean he wasn't correct to an extent.

"He's staying," I corrected him.

Mr. Blackbourne looked surprised for only half a second before he cleared his expression and accepted my words with a short nod. His hands were behind his back, and while his outfit was impeccable, his hair looked as though he'd been running his fingers through it.

As I looked around the room, I realized that none of the guys looked good. Gabriel least of all. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hand still shook in mine. I swallowed, knowing deep down that I was the reason for his shattered state.

When we were kids, I'd been like this before. I couldn't even tell you what had happened, only that Gabriel had tapped on my window several times over a few minutes. We'd agreed to a roof meeting, but I'd been stuck on my bed, shaking and unfocused.

He'd walked right into my room, through the window at least. I guess he'd tried to talk to me, with no response or acknowledgement on my end.

It had been my first kiss. It was a peck, really, but on the lips. It had been my only one, if I were honest. It was all I could think about right now as I looked at my best friend. I didn't consider my actions until they'd already played out, and even then, I didn't regret them after seeing the outcome.