Absolute

26

After cake we moved into the sitting room and spoke for a little while, but Mr. Blackbourne had to excuse us. It was getting well into the afternoon, and I knew what was about to come next. We'd chosen not to tell my brothers, or Lia, that I would be interrogating my father today.

I thought it would be best, especially when Mr. Blackbourne explained that they might want to do the same thing. Or keep me from him in order to protect me somehow. But I didn't need protecting, I needed answers.

The things I'd found in the shoe box hadn't made much sense.

There was a baby rattle, a little plush animal, and paperwork. Most of the paperwork was confusing and didn't make sense. I thought maybe I should show it to someone, Sean maybe, but I wanted to see if my father would tell me the truth.

All of my brothers gave me hugs, and when Alex pulled away while still making me promise I'd log onto Fortnite and make an account, I met eyes with my mother. I nodded and responded to Alex, Gabriel already ordered the game, or so he said. I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but I was too focused on the people in front of me to stop and ask.

Lia smiled at me, in the same pained and saddened way that she'd been smiling all night. I had a feeling it had more to do with my existence than my presence. Like somehow, she should have known that I was still out there, that I was alive and unwell.

I took a step towards her and then she was rushing towards me. But unlike when Mareena had ever rushed at me, I didn't feel the urge to run. I actually quickened my steps, and I'm not sure about her, but I knocked the wind out of myself.

She didn't seem to care about the crashing, her arms wrapped around me like boa constrictor and I couldn't help noticing that she smelled like vanilla. I melted in her arms, and she held me up.

"I've loved you your whole life."

Her voice broke, and I hugged her tighter. I didn't have any sweet words that could even come close to hers, so I hoped that she could feel how relieved I felt. We held each other for a long time, and when we pulled away, we both had tears rolling.

"I'm really happy I get to know you."

Her smile wobbled and she cupped my cheeks, her thumbs wiping away my tears.

"I know you've had a hard life, but if you're open to it, we all would like to be a part of your new life, moving forward."

I nodded, "I'd really like that."

It was hard saying goodbye, but I had a video game session planned with Alex, Ben and Nico had already asked Kota if they could be a part of my training process, and Lia had asked if I'd like to come stay the night in a week or so, after I'd settled down and was comfortable doing so.

I hadn't even hesitated upon asking if a few of my friends could come with me. Her eyes had flickered to the ones I'd brought with me, and while I could tell she was curious, she wasn't judgmental.

In the car, I was so tired that I almost rested my head against the window and fell asleep. But I realized that by doing so, I'd have to wait another day to talk to my father. This needed to happen now, I needed answers, or just confirmation that he was a trash person.

From the back seat, Gabriel said something about music and then suddenly a pop song was playing through Mr. Blackbourne's speakers. I flinched, mostly because the music was so sudden. He leaned forward and turned it down a few notches.

The sun was finishing its descent over the edge of the world, and by the time we made it to what looked like an unassuming building. I thought we might have been in the wrong place, but the guys had stopped chattering in the back seat, and it was Kota who made it to my door this time.