loving ain't easy [jj maybank]

chapter 3

*tw warning for this chapter!! it talks about kath's backstory in this chapter*

kathleen gwilym

i look at jj for a second like he's lost his mind, his words resonating with me. i take a deep breath.
"i- i-... i don't know what happened. i guess everything i've just bottled up for a year just exploded in my face." i struggle to explain.
"why don't you tell people when you're upset? you have me, pope, john b and kie all on your side. always, no matter the time or situation." jj explains, looking straight into my eyes. i take a long swig if the whiskey, and it burns all the way down.
"j, i need to tell you something. you have to promise not to tell anyone." i wring my hands, feeling like i'm gonna puke. i originally swore i wasn't going to tell anyone, but it's eating away at me.
"i swear on my whole life." he nods, taking my hand in reassurance. it does calm me down, knowing i'm not having an awful nightmare.
"last summer, 2 months before my dad went missing.. kie and i went to a party at topper's. kie had gone to the bathroom and i was in the kitchen..." the tears begin to form in my eyes.
"and rafe came up to me. he held a knife to my throat and told me to come downstairs with him, so i did because i was paralyzed with fear. he dragged me down there, and just pulled my skirt right off, while holding the knife to my throat. he was grabbing me and trying to makeout with me, i was so scared jj. i felt like it was my fault." i wipe the tears from my eyes, suppressing a sob. jj's thumb is making small circles on the back of my hand.
"after what felt like years, kie and kelce finally came down and pulled him off of me. i was frozen in fear and deion was holding rafe back while i pulled my skirt back on as fast as i could. kie was dragging me away from topper's house when topper came by us and he said something like 'kathleen the slut back at it again', and kie decked him. after that the rest of the night was a blur. i don't remember anything else.' i finish, the tears falling freely now.
"kathleen.." jj pulls my into a hug. i feel his anger rolling off of him, but i feel the tears falling from his eyes hitting my head. he holds me tightly as we both cry.
"why didn't you tell anyone else?" he asks me when we let go of each other.
"i was too scared. i felt like it was my fault. and then after my dad disappeared, i tried to forget everything." i try to explain.
after a few more minutes of talking, i'm exhausted, and Agatha still rages on outside the chateau.
"can we cuddle?" i ask, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around myself.
"of course, my lady." jj smiles, mimicking a terrible british accent.

a/n: this one was pretty short but i felt like it was a good place to wrap up kath's backstory! i'm currently writing chapter 4 at the time of posting this :)