It Isn't Easy

Distance (Chapter 11)

Bakugou's P.O.V

Of course the fucking Crusty Napkin did this shit.

I revved the engine and put the car in reverse, pulling out of the parking lot.

The red head shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes fixated on his hands that were fidgeting on his lap.

The look he gave me this morning hurt. The defeat, the fire, that was once there in the scarlet eyes I loved was gone. Replaced with longing and pain.

I reached over and smacked the back of his head lightly, which earned a yelp in response and a dirty look.
"What the hell was that for man?" He asked, rubbing the back of his head with a hand.

"Don't look so down, 's not natural for you. The world isn't ending just because we broke up, I never said we couldn't be friends or some shit."

"I understand that but how am I supposed to look at you and not think about how bad I want to kiss you or something. Bro, it's hard. I'm restraining myself right now." He sighed, looking down back down at his hands.

I rolled my eyes and looked back to the road. He had no clue that I was doing the same thing. Pretending I didn't want to kiss him do do other things—shut the fuck up brain you needn't think of that gay shit right now.

We fell back into that tense silence the rest of the ride, and as I pulled up and parked alongside the almost deserted road, Kirishima was practically out before the car was off.

I watched him walk with a heavy heart, unbuckling and following a respectable distance behind. Not only were we far from each other literally, but we were far figuratively as well.

Mentally and emotionally. We both wanted the same thing, to be close again, but how the he'll am I supposed to pretend that everything is fine when I was just fucking ordered to 'get rid of him'.

But something was weighing down on the red head as well. And I'm not talking about just the breakup, something else too. Something he wasn't telling me.

"Bakugou it looks like we'll be able to focus some deals around here. It's basically empty and doesn't draw attention unless you're looking for something."

I nodded and kept my eyes glued to the sidewalk, my brain racing a mile a minute. God I wanted it all back. I wanted him back.

A hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality and I narrowed my eyes.
"What do you want shitty hair?"

"Why did you break up with me?"

"I told you yesterday, I never really loved you. I was just using you," I repeated, but it sounded almost monotone. Like I had this script in my mind I was following.

"Bullshit." He snapped back, tilting my face up to his.

I averted my eyes and glared at the concrete behind him.
"It's the truth."

"Babe you can't even look me in the eyes and say it without your voice cracking or some shit. So no, it's not the goddamn truth." His grip tightened in my face and his other hand came up to join the first, this one resting on my cheek.
"Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't fucking christ Kirishima! I would've told you if I could! You're so goddamn stubborn. It's none of your fucking business what's going on with me. Worry about yourself you fucking-"

Lips captured mine and my natural instinct was to give in to the familiar warmth and softness.

Fingers tangled in my hair and my arms came to a rest around his waist as he pressed himself against me more.

At that moment I realized what was happening.

I was giving in.
I was telling him it was okay.
I needed to be pushing him away.

My arms started to slip and I began to pull back. That only made him more aggressive as he yanked me back forward, lips colliding.

This time I was utterly defenseless. I melted i to him, arms coming around his back and pressing our bodies against each other.

His tongue found its way into my mouth and he tugged on my hair, causing a small moan to escape. It was met with a laugh and a leg slide in between mine.

My knees began to give out but the red head supported me with his body, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Finally, with much reluctance I pulled back, completely breathless as I leaned on him.
"Holy...shit..." I gasped, my head falling onto his shoulder.

He planted his lips lightly on the spot between my shoulder and neck where my skin was uncovered, peppering it lightly with kissed. Thank the heavens that this was a deserted part on the outskirts of town.

"Are you finally ready to tell me what the hell is wrong?"

Those damn words snapped me back to what was happening and I jolted backward, stumbling slightly.
"Oh fuck, I shouldn't have fine that... Kirishima I can't. Why can't you get that through your damn skull. I want to tell you more than anything, but it'll only hurt you, and I don't want you in more pain than you already are."

His eyes dropped to the ground and his shoulders dropped. All that energy he had only moments ago was gone, that fire had flickered and gone out. All because of me.

"Fine. Be that way. I wanted to help, I truly dis. But you're obviously too fucking prideful to tell me what the hell is wrong. I gave you all I had, I wore my heart on my sleeve and let everyone see what I was like. But it still wasn't fucking good enough for you Bakugou. I fucking give up! What am I supposed to do to help! I tried my damndest and it did nothing!"

The red head threw his hands up in defeat, venom in his voice. I saw the tears he tried to blink away, I heard the raw emotion in his voice and it broke my heart to see him so desperate.

All he wanted was my love, he wanted me to have his back and I couldn't even do that.

"Shitty Hair how are you so dense! God I try my best to keep you safe and comfortable but now I can't even do that! All because of some damn orders from the shot rag known as our leader!"

That got him to shut up, his eyes swelling as his body went rigid. Color drained from his face and he looked genuinely scared.
"...w-what orders did he give you?" He stuttered, a crease forming in between his eyebrows as he studied my face.

"That's what I can't tell you. 'S none of your business anyway."

"He ordered you to kill me didn't he Bakugou."

I narrowed my eyes and flinched slightly at his words, my gaze drifted to the ground.

"Katsuki he did the same fucking thing to me. I'm supposed to kill you."

He had my attention now.

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There are going to be like three more chapters after this and then the story is over so y'all know. You can go check out I Could Never Lose You or my bnha songbook, those both include some Kiribaku stuff.