Illusion

NINE

Bids of cold sweat was streaming down my forehead as we head back from my school.

As the clock strikes at three, my parents decided to send me back so that we can all rest.

"Call us, okay?" Dad kissed my cheek before I go inside the school to the.

Feeling anxious about what happened a while ago, I decided to just put my things on the room and have a walk outside to clear my mind.

"You're here!," Alec exclaimed as I enter the door. I just gave her a nod then went straight to my bed.

"How's the day with your fam? You think they liked me?" She asked eagerly and sat on her own bed facing me.

"Yeah," her forehead creased when she realized I am not in the mood to talk.

"You okay?" She asked, almost whispering.

"I am." I simply answered before walking out the room. Gladly, she didn't asked where I'm going.

I started to roam around. Thinking about what happened earlier.

I'm so confused. Is he there? But if he did, my Dad should have noticed him, right?

"I should find him," I mumbled. Right. If I want to clear my mind, I should ask him straight if he's there or I'm just imagining things!

With shaking hands, I continued walking while glancing side by side looking for that guy.

"Damn, he always appear when I don't need him but if I do, he's nowhere to be found." I hissed.

There is this something inside of me that's making me feel bad. Like there's something I should be afraid of coming and I know exactly what it is.

My hands started trembling at the thought of what happened months ago so I decided to sit on the bench nearby hoping to get rid of negative thoughts but failed big time.

I remember how the rain pours outside, the dark and cold night's sometimes lit up by the lightning strikes and thunders were like roars from above. If it was a normal stormy night for me, I would tuck myself on my bed while covered with the thick comforter while crying silently hoping it'll end soon but today's very different. Instead of hiding from the blanket, I'm standing near my window staring outside, counting how many lighting would appear nearly wishing it would strike right at me.

It was my twin's burial and upon sending her to her final destination, the rain started pouring like the heavens were sending their condolences to me.

Along with the heavy rain, my eyes were shedding with so much tears filled with resentment.

"How many times would I tell you you're not pretty when you cry?"

Shocked, I stood there frozen.

"Why are you there, by the way? It was storming and I expected you lying on your bed, crying. I'm surprised I found you standing there instead," she said as she walk near me. I took at step back not feeling anything.

I tried to stare at her and started getting confused every minute.

She's smiling ear to ear like what she always do. She looks so real.

"What's with you? You look like you've seen a ghost, Asher." she laughed. Even the sound of her laugh sounds real.

Isn't she?

I tried opening my mouth to say something but my lips were shaking, I couldn't. Was everything that happened a dream? I look sideways and look back at her. She's still there.

Was it a dream? Her sudden death? Was it all just a nightmare?

"Tsk. I don't like the look on your face. What's so confusing about seeing me?" She look pained as she asked me those questions.

Pain. The pain I felt on my chest that day and the nexts were real. I knew 'coz up until now I can still feel my heart breaking.

"Why aren't you answering? What am I here, a ghost?"

"A-aren't you?" I asked bravely.

"Huh? Are you mad? Did I do something wrong?" She asked. What?

This conversation is making my head ache. Am I dreaming? Was her death a dream or this one's the dream?

My head starts to ache. Thinking about it makes my head ache and I can't help but to groan in pain as I fell on the floor.

"Asher, what's wrong?"

Ashley tried attending to me but I shook my head continuesly.

"Wh-what am I suppose to do?" She asked.

"D-don't come n-near me!" I shouted so she moved back. Her reaction shows pain and confusion but all my attention was on my aching head.

"You're gone!" I started shouting. "I saw it with my bear eyes!"

Tears streamed down my face as I held my head tight hoping it would ease the pain but it didn't.

"What are you talking about? I'm here-"

"Stop it! Stop!" I shouted crying and almost begging. "Please stop!"

The headache became unbearable and I can feel my consciousness slowly leaving me. I feel drained but I can't stop shouting.

The door opened and I swear I felt relieved but before I can even stand up to reach my mother's hand, I felt my consciousness slowly leaving me but before I closed my eyes, I tried to stare at Ashley. She's there. Smiling but with tears in her eyes and everything went black.

The next days and weeks, I can't talk. I'm afraid to be left alone thinking she'll appear in front of me. I know she's dead and why am I still seeing her around is so confusing. I tried asking my parents about it but would end up dismissing the idea because I'm afraid they would just laugh, maybe they'll think I'm going crazy.

I don't want to be left alone. And I think it helped because after weeks of being with my mom always, I stopped seeing her around. That's when I decided to live away from home.

"But Illude isn't dead." I said to myself.

Right, that annoying guy is so alive so why am I making a fuss about it? I shouldn't be!

"Wow, you're thinking about me now, huh?"

"What the fu-"

"Words." He warned. I glared at him!

He's here!

"What?" He laughed at my reaction. I expected him to just appear everytime but I still get shock. Mushroom!

"What's bugging you?"

"I s-saw you a-at the cemetery," I said. I don't care if I sound like a kitten. He just stared at me, waiting to talk more.

"O-or a-am I j-just-"

"I'll always be here when you want me to," he said it seriously that made my forehead creased.

"Huh?"

"I went there because you want me there, Asher" he confidently answered like it make sense.

"What are you talking about?" I hissed. Why does it don't sound good to my ears?

"Remember, I am Illude. Your Illude"

It made me roll my eyes.

"You're so weird and annoying. I'm only asking if you were there at the cemetery a while ago. You should've just answered yes or no. Stop confusing me," I yelled and stood up.

He started laughing. I didn't know that the sound of someone's laugh can be this irritating.

"I already answered that," he chuckled and I'm done.

When will I get a sensible answer from him? Nevermind.

This annoying guy is real so I shouldn't worry. Yes, I should not.

"I am what you think I am, Asher," he smiled and stood up leaving me behind, dumbfounded with his words.