Fortunately/Unfortunately (A Prinxiety Wrong Number AU)

Day Six [3:09 am]

princey are u there

Why are you tecting me at three in the moring?

*morning

*teting

*texting damn you

reasons

are there coyotes in gainesville

I've seen a few

Are *you* in Gainesville??

does ur friend live there

Well yes if you mean Logan

What does that have to do with anything

ever heard of an area code

my # cant be far from his is what im saying

shit i hate being out at night

What are you doing right now?

Being attacked by coyotes, perchance

sitting in a tree like a moron

 bc the alternative is getting jumped while my night visions fried

??????

??

walking home

i was checking something out and my ride bailed

if hillbillies kill me let my family know i hate them

Where are you? 

I could give you a ride if you like

no way

for all i know youre a pedophile

How old even are you??

sounds like something a pedo would ask

19

dont say it doesnt matter if im not a kid

u could be a general creep

Jeez, Judy Gloom

Have you heard of a little thing called optimism?

I'm told it's all the rage these days

sure

if ur a moron

8(

wtf is that emoji

lame

>8(

ugh

look

just

i know were not friends 

but if i dont text u by 10 tomorrow call (352) 617-0908

tell him he pronounces his own fucking name wrong so hell know i sent u

tell him last u heard i was coming back from the shed

I KNEW IT

knew what

You're a drug dealer

A burglar

Or worse, a bartender

in a shed

A secret bartender

what tf is a secret bartender

Well you come up with an idea then

If you insist on being so SERIOUS

i dont need to come up with an idea its my life

And your life is...?

i was looking for a chupacabra

And you mocked me for secret bartender??

Your foul hypocrisy disgusts me

cryptids r cooler than bartending

Fair

Did you at least slay it in valiant battle are there pictures??

nope and even if i had i wouldnt show u

or i guess i probably would idk

gtg but will u call my friend if i dont text back

Sure

i get if u dont wanna do me any favors

thx

Are you certain you won't let me pick you up, stranger? 

I won't ask your name if you don't want me to, but

The thought of leaving someone in distress rankles me

pro tip princey 

rankles is a word no human should use

and no

thx tho

u didnt have to offer

A true hero always offers help when it's needed!

sounds like something a serial killer accomplice would say

Back to doom and gloom

its a talent

okay now i rlly have to go

wish me luck

If you're eaten by coyotes I'll mourn you

Text me by ten tomorrow, won't you?

yeah okay

ill do my best