Anxiety. [LT AU] I

» 07.

[lol i wrote this in the salon whilst i was getting my hair dyed]

 "so hayden then, how long have you guys been dating?" louis was walking behind ashleigh on the way to school. he was lost in thought for a while whilst she was on her phone. ashleigh turned around and blushed furiously.

"er, for like a week now i guess." she shrugged, turning back to her phone. louis sighs.

"how come i wasn't told earlier?" louis questions her. she stops where she is and turns around to face him.

"okay, wait. like you tell me everything that's on your mind or anything so why should i be telling you stuff? louis. you're a bit of a hypocrite aren't you?" louis seemed stunned by ashleigh's cold cutting words. it just didn't seem like her to say such a thing, so suddenly. she is usually so very happy with him.

"w-what, where is this even coming from? what happened to louis is my best friend?"

ashleigh rolls her eyes, "just start acting like one first of all."

ouch.

+++

louis was lost in his thoughts. he wasn't thinking what he was doing or where he was heading. he suddenly felt himself being shoved against something hard and the sound of someone's angry shout was also heard after. when louis looked up, he was greeted by a strong punch in the face. this angered me.

so someone i found it in me to slam my hands down on the strangers face, pushing him to the ground then kicked him multiple times. it was happening too quickly, everything was.

before i knew it, we were fighting. i've never been in a fight before so i don't understand how i could be so good at it. my adrenaline was pumping and i heard people cheering as they crowded around us, but it was over as quickly as it started to be honest.

the principle pulled us apart and i realised the opposition was a bullied kid called harry styles. of all people i could be fighting, i was against someone as weak as me. wow.

the principle lectured us for a long ass time but when it was over, i got detentions for after school, break and lunch for a whole week with the principle.  great. brilliant. fab. i blame my mental disorder, if i could only argue well and talk more... i could've talked myself out of any punishment. after all, harry started it. he was the one who punched me first for god's sake.

after the lecture harry tries to talk to me but i'm too furious with myself to even look at him. i walk away with my head down and thoughts all over the place. i bet the principle will tell vivian and steve, and they'll hate me.

especially ashleigh who hates violence despite being from new york where you see violence all the time.

urgh well done tomlinson.

++

and she certainly was the least impressed to see me at lunch. i was finding a place to sit at the back of the cafeteria when she grabbed my arm with annoyance clear on her face, the look really doesn't suit her.

"you started a fight?!" she looks at me alarmed and in shock.

i shake my head, "of course not. he started it by punching me, it was only self defence."

she rolls her brown eyes, "sure. that's not what the whole school is saying, clearly someone's lying." she turns to walk away but my anger was bubbling and i didn't want her to have the last say like she always does. i want to be the dominant one for once.

"at least i don't lie about friend's mothers being alive and well." she turns around slowly to face me, with a look that has guilt written all over it. i've been studying about coma's for a while now. the car crash that my mother was involved, hit her head with such impact, such force that it surely would've killed her. now the doctor, my apparent best friend and her family are all lying to me when they should be telling me the truth. i'm clever enough to work it out myself. it's funny how people underestimate others just because they're shy.

i mean, nobody would've ever thought harry or i could fight like that until today. we don't talk much in school, so they just judged.

"w-what, what are you saying?"

i shake my head and smirk, "you know what i'm saying ash. i just thought you might be kind enough to tell me the truth, i think i deserve it." and i walked away now feeling pretty triumphant.

if only i could show this amount of confidence with everyone. life would be such a better place for me.

i got to my space at the back of the cafeteria, where i always sit but there was another person on my usually lonely table. i clear my throat and he looks up, green eyes narrowing when he sees me.

"hi." i give him a half smile and he nods his head in response. well that's very rude isn't it? i sit down without asking him, but he started it by not responding to me.

lunch was pretty boring, it consisted of me eating my main meal but leading the snack because i wasn't a fan of tacos. harry was the opposite though he was staring at my plate of tacos, when i caught him he looked away quickly. i sighed and pushes my plate over to him, he looked up in confusion.

"um, an apology." see always say sorry first, because it shows you're the better man.

"really?" i nod my head in response, "oh, thanks." harry replies awkwardly but eats the taco in three whole bites. wow.
"i'm sorry too by the way. i shouldn't have punched you in the first place, i knew you were pushed. also i knew about your anxiety, so i'm sorry for playing that to my advantage in the principle's office."

he smile at him, "i-it's okay."

"good, so we mates?" harry extends his overly large sized hand for me to shake and i do.

yay, mates.

+

the school finished pretty quickly as if it knew that i was dreading have dinner with ashleigh's new boyfriend tonight. i don't know if it was jealousy, envy or just anger that i was feeling towards this hayden guy, but i wasn't sure why. after all, ash and i are just friends. best friends, that are practically acting like enemies.

i arrived 'home' before ashleigh did for once and it was only vivian in the house. she greets me with a hug and ushers me to help set out the dining table.

we had like three hours before hayden would come over, so i don't know why she was panicking now.

maybe because she knew her daughter really liked this guy so she had to make sure everything was perfect for her. yeah, well that makes sense now.

"how was school, louis?" vivian decides to make small talk with me as we set out the cutlery.

"it was okay i guess. i got into a fight though. we forgave and forgot afterwards though, but all my free time of next week i have to spend with the principle." i shrugged and she stops what she was doing to stare at me.

"wait, how? why? what happened?" psychiatrists are prone to be curious of everything but it can be see on the borderline of nosey and annoying.

"i was pushed into this guy called harry who is usually bullied in school, like every kid hates him for some unknown reason. he's actually really nice. the next thing i know, he punches me. in the spur of the moment i found it in me to deck him, and then it just continued from there until the principle broke us up." i tell the story as quickly as possible before carrying on setting the table.

"did he apologise?" vivian questions me, intrigued.

"nope. i did though, oh wait yeah he did after i did." she smiled at this and nodded her head.

"that's good, as long as it's all settled. violence is never the answer louis, remember that. it would only cause more pain." seems quite wisely spoken but i can't keep my promises, especially when i see hayden.

it's funny that i'm judging him before i've even met him. he's apparently in our year, but i don't know of his existence. meaning he must be a dumb kid. i know all the intelligent ones, because i feel as they are in competition to me so i have to take them out.

ashleigh comes in shortly after i had finished with helping her mother in the kitchen. and right beside her was the apparent hayden. he was tall, blonde wavy fringed, model faced and looked clever enough to  that knock me out with just his pinky finger. oh my god. what, who, why?

"oh hello dear, i wasn't expecting to see you both until later on. come on in though. pleasure to meet you, hayden.  i'm vivian mckenzie, ashleigh's mother." vivian extends her hand for the boyfriend who i can never compete with, to shake.

he does. firmly.

"pleasure is all mine, mrs mckenize. you have a wonderful home." and he's a smooth talker too, wow this guy is the whole package. i wish he could've had anxiety too. it would've made me feel a whole lot better.

hayden's brown eyes land on mines and he looks at ashleigh in confusion, "you never told me you had a brother?"

"i don't." ashleigh responds back then looks over at me, "he's my... adopted brother."

ADOPTED.

BROTHER.

WHAT. NO. NO WAY.

Get ouT OF HERE, HELL NO.

"oh hey mate, i'm hayden davis." he puts his hand out for me to shake now but i'm too busy at war with myself to respond. my mouth was hanging in an 'o' shape and my eyes were wide, words failing me completley. ashleigh for once doesn't notice that i needed help.

"oi, louis. don't be rude. say hi!" but i can't. my mind isn't letting me, "louis what the hell is even wrong with you-"

"-er ashleigh, that's enough now. you can go show hayden the rest of the house." vivian says in this voice of authority that no-one could refuse. ashleigh gives me a long hard look and i gulp as she goes upstairs with hayden following. i sigh out with relief after they had left.

"thank you."

"that's okay dear. ashleigh didn't mean to be insensitive to you. she just sometimes forgets the little things that are important." i see, well i'm pretty small for my age. i'm little, who used to be quite important in her life.

will she forget me too?

[i really dislike this story, but it'll be over soon yay. evan peters plays hayden davis yayyyyyyy ahs (american horror story) emma and evan as so perfect *sigh* check out  my story debauch ily ily]