𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒. matthew gray gubler

↳ xvii. worthy of you

xvii. worthy of you
—MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

[🪐]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING,
I don't know why Lola decided suddenly that she wanted me, I feel like I don't understand anything involving this woman.

All I know is that we kissed, and it was one of the best feelings I've ever felt in my entire life. The way she molded straight into my lips and body, it felt almost unreal and too good to be true.

I did want her to be mine. So fucking badly, but I was so scared of her hurting me. I wished Lola could be a little more ugly or something so that I could resist her, because I really can't. And it so scary, because she hurt me and all I wanted to do was crawl back to her. Which was why I didn't want to do this secret relationship thing...yet. Because I still didn't know what her motives were.

I'd be okay with being her best friend for a little longer.

Lola was quiet as we drove to my home, silently picking at her fingernails. There was so much to talk about, so much unresolved issues between us. But neither of us wanted to talk about it. All I wanted to do was get home and cuddle with her again.

I entered my home, turning on the lights. I turned to her—she looked absolutely ravishing tonight—in that mini dress that made her blonde hair glow. Her body was so perfect, even though I never cared much for shape and size.

Her green eyes glinted, her pink-painted lips curving into a small and almost shy smile. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I couldn't stop the grin from breaking out on my face.

"Movie?" I asked her.

"Duh. Except no drugs this time." Lola snorted, and I rolled my eyes. I was already a bit tipsy, but not dangerously drunk.

"Shocking." I muttered, collapsing onto the couch and turning on the TV. Lola sat down next to me a moment later, her eyes glimmering was she shifted close to me, letting me wrap my arm around her waist. I gulped, avoiding look at her thighs as her dress rode up in the tiniest bit.

She leaned against my chest, wrapping both her arms around my torso and burying her face into my chest. I knew she could hear my heartbeat.

"Hey, you're not even watching." I told her, poking her side a little.

"I wouldn't pay attention anyways." Lola mumbled against my chest. "Movie only means cuddle time for me."

I laughed, rolling my eyes and running my hand up and down her side. I moved it up, gripping her rib cage softly and leaning my head on top of hers.

A while later, I decided I couldn't resist and moved my hand down her body, placing it on her bare thigh. I felt my heartbeat quicken, giving it a small squeeze and rubbing her skin in circles with my thumb.

Lola shifted, moving closer to me. I bit my lip, not even paying attention to the movie now. All I wanted to do was touch her. Every inch of her skin, kiss her, and everything in between.

Finally, I shifted, bringing my free hand to her face and turning it up to me. Lola's eyes were dark, only exciting me even further into seduction.

I leaned down a little, licking my lips before pausing at hers, the space between us less than an inch. I felt her minty breath hit my warm mouth, gripping her thigh a little tighter in attempt to hold back.

Finally, I lost to the temptation, pressing my lips against hers. It felt like just the first; like I was immediately put under some spell. Her sweet and soft lips moved against mine hungrily, and I quickened the pace, kissing her harder and more desperately. All I wanted to be was the best in her mind—all I wanted to show her was that I was better than all those other guys she's kissed before.

But I could barely focus on that when she moved, lifting herself from the couch and climbing onto my lap, deepening the kiss and making me chase hers when she lifted herself a little higher. I grabbed the back of her neck, forcing her back down to my level as we kissed harder.

My hands roamed over her neck, shoulders, arms, and finally her legs, gripping her thigh before slipping my hand under her dress slowly. Lola whimpered softly against my mouth, and when her bare and forbidden skin hit my fingertips, I groaned with delight, pulling her as close as possible.

It was too good to be true. That I could feel like this. And have her like this—it was exhilarating, and so addictive. I craved more by the second, my hand moving up slowly.

Lola wrapped her arms around my neck, sucking and nibbling on my bottom lip before parting from me, her cheeks pink and her eyes do fierce it turned me on to the max.

"Wow." She whispered, before I pushed her lips to mine once again, capturing her lips in glory. I felt like I was flying, getting more gutsy and moving my hand to her hip, feeling her lace underwear graze against my palm. Lola moaned against my mouth, and I felt her hands tangle in my hair, pulling softly and eliciting another moan from me.

We broke our hot kiss, panting for air. I was already going back for her lips, but Lola called out my name softly. I met her gaze, where she wore a kind and affectionate smile.

"Baby, lets not go too far tonight." Lola whispered against my lips, making me fall into a trance. Baby. God, I loved that more than anything else.

"Okay." I told her, biting my lip and stroking her bare side with my hand. "I just want to kiss you for a little longer." I whispered, enchanted by her lips as my pulled me in again. It was softer and sweeter this time, and I savored the oddly sugary taste on her lips—I wondered if he was whatever lipstick she had on, because it felt like I was licking sugar off of them.

I let go of her hip, sliding my hand back down from under her dress and out of it. I reached up, holding both sides of her face to deepen our kiss.

"You're beautiful." I whispered against her mouth, gazing into her hypnotizing eyes before kissing her again.

Lola smiled, her hands rubbing my shoulders slowly. I sighed heavily, closing my eyes and sinking deeper and deeper into our moment.

"You are so handsome." She cooed, kissing my cheek softly and returning back to my lips. I swelled with joy, holding her close to me and never wanting to let go.

I wished in this moment that it was just me and her. Just us, and no one else. Just her lips against mine, moving in a slow dance, for the rest of my life.

All my worries seeped out of me, replaced by an unexplainable feeling of happiness that felt like a drug. Those thoughts of doubt disappeared from my head, the hurt in my heart completely gone. It was clear to me now that only Lola had the ability to both crush and bring me back together.

We breathed heavily against the others lips, and I gazed at her incredible features, running my thumb across her bottom lip. Nothing could explain how I was feeling right now—I wasn't sure why, but I feel like I've never felt like this before. But I knew I'd fallen in love before, so it wasn't that. This wasn't just love—it was an intense attraction that I had never felt for anyone else in my life. No one in my eyes was this beautiful to me, both on the inside and out. No one was this flawless, even with the obvious flaws.

I pursed my lips together, pecking her softly again and tucking a strand of her crazy hair behind her ear. Lola blinked slowly, her eyes clear and bright that made me swoon.

"I think I'm in love with you," I whispered softly against her lips, before capturing them once again.

[🪐]