Fix You ,, Michael Clifford

Chapter Three

   It took way too much effort to close the blinds before plopping myself onto my bed. The dark room was silent except for the sound of my fan rotating. I've always thought it was one of the most soothing noises along with the sound of rain hitting either the side of a house or the ground, joining into a puddle. Fuck. I remembered that I had an appointment this afternoon with my therapist. Damnit. Can I call in sick? I probably need to go..I absolutely hate going to the therapist it's probably more stressful talking to her about my problems than bottling them up. I hate talking about things. It's like the words get stuck in my throat and I constantly choke on them, leaving me with no air left to breathe. The minute I try to open my mouth to spill my thoughts it seems as if they spill out of my tear ducts instead of off my tongue. Fuck, I really don't want to go. Urg. It's quater to 1:00pm already. I need to start getting ready. I applied my makeup and straightened my hair infront of the mirror trying not to look up at myself unless I really needed to to concentrate on what I was doing. Images of the hospital from months ago flashed underneath my eyelids. The mirrors covered in duct tape so I couldn't look at myself. Every week me and the counsellor would peel off a layer of tape, so my figure in the mirror would gradually get more visable. This was their way of trying to help me cope with my reflection. I swallowed down my thoughts and stood up and packed my purse as I was about to head out the door the phone rang and I ran to pick it up. 
   "Hello?" I answered.
   "Hi, Elizabeth!" My Therapist, Dr. Eve chooed into the phone. "Are you still coming to visit me today?" I shook my head and sighed. Every time I have an appointment she calls to make sure I'm attending because she knows if she didn't I would never show up. 
   "Yeah. I was actually just walking out the door when the phone rang." I grumbled out.
   "Oh, okay! I'll see you shortly." She chimed before hanging up. 
I peeled myself out of the door frame and started down the hall and waited for the elevator. The elevator dinged and the door opened allowing me inside, I pressed the "L" button which brought me to the Lobby which lead into the parking lot. 
   The appointment went as usual. Which consists of me crying in the chair, not able to tell her anything and her asking me how my medications seem to be working. Dr.Eve percribed me a new med she said it was for when things get bad and I need something to calm me down or put me straight to sleep. 
   I walked in my door and ran straight for my room and sat my ass down on the floor to think. I grabbed my drawing pad and started sketching and writing poems to go with each of the illustrations. I waltzed into the kitchen and poured myself a mixed drink, Gingerale and Smirnoff. Sitting back down on my floor didn't seem to do it. I needed to move, I felt like I needed to get out so I made up a couple bottles of mixed drinks with some ice and threw them into a bag. It was almost 8:00pm so I told myself I'd be home before 10:00 to call V. I lit a cigarette and went off, walking for God knows how far and sipping on my drinks. By 9:30 I was buzzed and downtown, the 20$ burnt a hole in my pocket so I let myself in to the nearest bar and ordered a whiskey. The firmilar taste slid down my throat burning the back of it satisfying me. I left the bar and lit my smoke and continued my walk to what I thought was my apartment. I was taking a swig from my last bottle of mixed drink when I realized that I was going the wrong direction. "Fuck", I slurred out loud. I was stumbling trying to sit down on the sidewalk to pull out my cellphone. The clock read 12:30am. "What the fuck?" I asked myself. Where did the time go? "Shit." I mummbled. Veronica. I had 3 missed calls. There was no voice mails which meant that she wasn't worried, so she probably just assumed that I went to bed early without checking my phone. God, I feel like an asshole. I stood myself up almost falling over in the proccess. I heard a car pull up beside me and thought nothing of it until they honked at me. I turned myself to see who it was quickly. It was a black slim car that I did not recognize. The window rolled down and I peered inside. A pair of eyes that I did recognize stared at me. A smile grew on his face. It's that guy from the bar...Michael. 
   I heard a laugh come from his lips. "Need help, darlin'?" 
   "No. I don't need help." I slurred almost rudely. 
   "You look like you could use all the help in the world right now." 
   "What are you doing here?" I asked.
   "I'm just out for a drive the real question is what is your drunk ass doing here?" 
    "I..uh, I left my house for a walk and I was drinking and went to the bar and drank more and now I don't know." 
   "Get in, weirdo. I'm taking you home." He demanded with a smile.
   "Didn't your parents ever tell you not to get into cars with strangers?" I joked.
   "I'm barely a stranger. I bought you a drink, c'mon. That means we're like 2nd base friends now." He teased back. I laughed and hopped in the car clumsily. I continued to suck back the last bit of my drink and told him directions. We got to my apartment and I went to hop out after saying thank you but he locked the doors.
   "What are you doing?" I almost yelled.
   "You, silly goose. Take my number and you call me if you ever decide to go on a drunken adventure again. Okay? I don't need a 2nd base pal being hit by a car on their way "home" which by the way was in the opposite direction of where you were going." I almost blushed because I knew it was true. He wrote down his number and shoved it in my hand. 
   "What's this another attempt at a pick up line? First "Do you come here often?" and now your number? You're on a roll '2nd base pal' I teased. 
   "Did it work this time?" He unlocked the doors.
   "Goodnight, Michael." I said as I closed the car door a little to hard and stumbled to my front entrance. He yelled goodnight out the window before driving off. After he was out of sight, I smiled to myself. That was so fucking weird. Haha. I marched myself up the stairs and into my appartment. My couch right now looked comfy as ever so I plopped myself down without second thought and put my phone on the charger- unlocking it. I texted V asking if she was still awake and only moments after got her reply with, 'Yeah. What are you doing up?' So I decided to call her and tell her about my somewhat eventful night. 
   "Hey" she aswered sounding tired.
   "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, I'm so sorry I didn't call earlier. I was drawing, then I went for a walk and then.." she cut me off.
   "No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. I've been watching movies all night" she let out with a chuckle." I could hear her thinking through the phone. "Are you drunk?" she blatantly asked.
   "Yeah. Long story. I, erm, I was drawing after my appointment and I just, erm, I don't know I made myself a few drinks and went for a walk which was support to be short but it ended up being til 12:30 and I got lost some what.." I went on laughing at my own stupidity. "..And you'll never guess who found me on the side of the road like a dead animal."    I felt like she blinked and pursed her lips before answering me, "No idea."

   "The guy from the bar with the purple hair. Remember?" I asked.

   "Oh, no shit, eh?! That's so random." 

   "I know, I know! He pulled up beside me and honked and scared the shit out of me and asked if I needed help and I said no then he told me that we were like '2nd base friends' because he bought me a drink so I'd get in the car." I thought for a minute, "He seemed like weirdly worried. I don't know how to describe it. He was just so...I don't know." I cut my own thoughts off. "It was nice of him, I guess. But, I totally could have got home on my own." I said with stubbornness in my voice. 
   "Well, that was really nice of him. What's his name?" she asked curiously. 
   "Michael." 
   "Last name?" Shit.
   "Honestly, I never thought to ask, damn." I trailed off. "Oh, but he did give me his number and told me if I ever needed anything to call him.."
   "Awh!" V scweeled. "That's so sweet, man. Who is this guy?"
   "I have no clue." I let out.