A kiss is still a kiss....

The Fault of One

••• My future is standing right in front of me...
I wake up the next morning on Toni's couch and Tyler on the floor. Awe I feel bad.
I get up to use the bathroom and he gets up.
"Did i wake you"
He looks up and yawns and stretches.
" Nah... the floor did, you fell asleep early and I decided to leave you on the couch and I took the floor. Toni insisted you sleep with him in his bed and I have the couch but I didn't want to move you so we left you"
" oh thanks the couch was nice."
I hear someone and look over. There he is Toni.
" Good morning Toni.. sleep well"
" yes. How was the couch"
" do not ask me if I am okay. Ask Tyler he legit slept on the floor. I am fine"
" Alright alright.. Tyler how did you sleep last night"
He looks up from his phone.
" Oh! I slept fine thanks. Not as good as the couch but it is sleepable I guess thanks. How about you"
" Fine thanks"
I look at my phone.
"Fuck guys I have an appointment today for my next tattoo"
Toni and Tyler smile.
" Oooo. Whatcha gettin'"

"Been wanting this for a while now this is the second smallest one I am going to have if you cant already tell my forearms are taken"
I chuckle.
"Heh taken"
I cough and head to the door and put on my shoes and grab my bookbag.
" I will be right back do not go any...where I am going to go change and feed my lizard I will be right back"
I leave and walk home and I pack more clothes and feed my lizard and I grab some water and put it in a cup and grab my keys and lock my door and I head back to Toni's house and they're outside. I smile as I see Grady running outside playing catch with Tyler and Toni.
I go inside drop my stuff off inside and run outside. And then I feel sick and run to the bathroom. Toni and Tyler chase after me. Freaking out.
    " What's wrong...tell me"
I quickly shut the toilet lid and flush the toilet and sit in front of it.
     " I don't know but I want to go home I am sorry but I am going home"
I get up and walk to the living room and grab my stuff and hug Tyler and Toni and walk out trying not to cry.
I get home and one of my best guy friends came over and he liked me for the longest time and Toni walked into my house as he kissed me. I looked over to see the look on his face.
    " TONI WAIT!! DAMMIT JOSH LEAVE NOW"
   He scoffs and walks out. I run after Toni and I stand behind him as he stops.
    " So you have a boyfriend"
    " No he's my best friend Josh. He came over even though I told him to leave then just kissed me I swear I did not want to do that he forced me. Please you cannot hate me for this. I do not like him because I do not like straight up men. Look you can be angry with me but I just do not want you hating me and ignoring me. Toni i- I like you a lot I've loved spending time with you and Grady and Tyler. It's been fun actually more than fun. Look I just need you to understand. Please"
  At this point I am crying because I couldn't keep it in. He slowly walks away into his house.
  " Toni where are you going... please d-don't leave."
He walks in his house and I stand there crying and I run to my house and slam my door and run to my room. And yell.
   "DAMN YOU JOSH AUGH FUUCK!!"
I cry myself to sleep in my pillow. The next morning I get dressed for work and Toni still does not talk to me. And he walks past me.
   " A kiss is still a kiss"
My eyes widen and I cover my mouth and turn my head around as he walks away putting clothes away. My shift ends and I quickly run to my house because I walked to work. I sit in my kitchen alone as Josh walks in....again.
  "I told you to leave you fucked up everything.. I said get the fuck out"
I hop of the counter in frustration hurting my ankles.
   " I am your last hope right now Ollie.. Fuck do you not hear the words out of your mouth-"
  " No do you not hear yours? ' I am your last hope Ollie' really I have more then  just you... it's over between us. You fucked up so many times but I just brushed it off my shoulders and thought it was no big deal. Jesus christ can you just leave."
He scoffs.
     " why... "
He starts to raise his voice.
    " I HELPED YOU GET THIS FUCKING PLACE BECAUSE YOU WERE UNEMPLOYED FOR THE LONGEST TIME I HELPED YOU FIND A JOB AND YOU QUIT IT TO WORK AT A FUCKING EMO STORE AND I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YOU BEFORE THAT AND YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE THIS"
I wipe my tears and laugh looking at my hand.
     " oh so I am to blame... DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO GET A DAMN JOB WHEN YOU JUST MOVE HERE. IT'S KINDA HARD YA KNOW... WAIT IF YOU HAD A BRAIN YOU WOULD KNOW. LOOK I DO NOT LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY. I DO NOT LIKE STRAIGHT UP MALES SO LEAVE ME ALONE. AND NO YOU HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME- JUST FUCKING LEAVE I AM PISSED-
He chuckles.
   "Clearly''
I give him a death glare and I just slap his face and breath heavily and look at him in anger.
    "Leave now! This relationship we have is over... do you hear me over I am deleting and blocking you on everything and I never want to speak with you ever again. YOU HEAR ME EVER. NOW LEAVE"
I push him hard towards the door.
    "NOW"
He opens the door and slams it on his was back.
                •••Few weeks later•••
It has been atleast three weeks since Josh and our fight and Toni and I not talking. Tyler and I have talked but we never asked about eachother. I walk up to my window and open the curtains and see Toni and Grady playing in the yard. Playing fetch and him doing tiktoks.
I think to myself.
   ' this is  my chance to set things straight'
I man up and walk up to his gate. I try to put a smile on but it fades. He looks over and walks up to the gate.
  " Can we talk please"
I try to hold in my tears. He nods and I walk in his house and walk through the house and outside and Grady runs up. We end up talking and I grab his hand and try not to cry.
   " This whole thing was at fault of only one person and it was Josh. But I like you and only you and a kiss is not still a kiss when it is not with who you like"