A Broadway Adoption

Chapter 10: Holding Onto You

A/N: Yes this chapter is named after the song by Twenty One Pilots, they are my favorite band. Also the dress at the top is what she's wearing for the after party, but she's paired it with a sparkly mesh long sleeved shirt to under it.
Also there is mentions of cutting in this chapter, it won't be detailed, but it is mentioned.

Booting up awake, drenched in sweat, and my breathing heighten, I knew I had a nightmare, but I can't remember what it was about. Only that it had brought me to tears and in a dark place that made me crave to do something that I haven't done in a little over two years. Grabbing my bag, I head to the bathroom and pull out my razor that I shave with, and tear it apart to get one of the razor's. I know I shouldn't do it, but after everything that has happen I have a relapse, when I realize what I'm doing I throw away the razor as if it had burned me. Sitting in the bathroom crying my eyes out, I hear someone open the door and bring me in their arms, I already know that it's Kerry. She just comforts me and trying to sooth down my tears,

"How about we clean up your arms?" She says in a sadden tone, "We don't have to talk about it, but Lily know you are worth so much more than what you think. You have so many people that care about you and you don't need to feel like you're alone, you have so many people who will be there for you. Please promise me that if you have the feeling to do this again, you'll come to me? You can call, or text at any time of the night and I'll be there for you. Now I am going to have to tell Alex this, because you'll technically be living with him during the shows, so he might try and talk to you, just so that way you know." She explains to me, which only makes me cry harder, and after what felt like forever I finally stop crying and we head to bed. 

Once it was morning, I woke up to the smell of something heavenly coming from downstairs and I went to go investigate. When I got downstairs I see Kerry and her daughters cooking up some pancakes and they looked amazing.

"You should've woken me up, I could've helped cook." I tell them

"You needed some sleep, so we just let you sleep in." Kerry says giving me a pointed look, knowing she was referring to last night and what had happened. I nod my head at her, knowing she was right, after last night I needed that sleep, with everything going on today it's going to be miracle if I can make it through the show and the party. Then I remembered since shows are starting I have to be living with Alex, and then I remember our fight we had, and it made me wonder if he would still let me live with him. Me being a doubter and always overthinking, I assumed that I wouldn't be staying at his place, so I texted Prez to get to the theatre early so we can talk about everything, I even told Dana because I knew she would want to be apart of this. 

After we eat and get everything cleaned up, Kerry and I go grab our stuff that we needed to get for the show and the after party, once the nanny showed up, we set on our quest to the theatre. On the way I turned to her and asked,

"Do you think Alex will still let me live with him, even though we had our fight?" I say in a quiet voice

"Of course he will, why wouldn't he?" Kerry asks me

"I don't know, just what was said yesterday, like what if he doesn't want me anymore?" I say looking down

"Lily, he wants you to stay with him, trust me." Kerry tells me while pulling me to her side, all I can do is pray that it's true, but right now my thoughts are winning and they are telling me that he doesn't want me. As we continue our journey to the theatre talking about the show and how excited we were for it to start, I grow nervous and start to overthink everything.

When we make it to the theatre I make a mad dash to Prez and I's dressing room, that way I'm not stopped by anyone. Arriving at our dressing room, I see that her and Dana are already there and putting their hair into the curls so our wigs will go on. Prez finally sees me,