Letters to My Love

the future is scary

To my love,
The future is scary, because it is unknown. I've always struggled with that, not knowing. But, this should be something I know, something I'm so certain in. I mean, I've spent my whole life moving to this moment, to this idea and now that it's so real. I mean, I've been wishing for, years. Looking to this, never changing this but. Look at me now... just a boy, madly, stupidly in love. I'm, attached to you and it's wrong. If my life has taught me anything, it's the more I get attached to, the more I loose. It's just the scary truth. The scary, painful truth of life. Everyone is just a temporary friend. Everyone will leave you the moment you are, real, you are you. When, you get too excited, when you buzz every which way, when you talk too much... they'll leave. That's at least, what I've learned and while you are everything different and new... That's all I know. That's all from making the mistake of getting attached. Of hoping. But, looking at the future, I've wanted to always disappear. Start a life away from this, be a new person, be a new me. But then I meet you, I want to stay with you. And... suddenly the first notes of my favorite song are sad as I hope the lyrics might become true. I love you, and you love me. We're two, normal, messed up kids, trying to navigate life. And I'm sitting here, scared that whatever I do, you'll walk away from me. Still, I can hear you saying you aren't like that, but who knows. You, you want one college, I want another. You want one life, I want a different one. You want to stay, and I wanted to go. Maybe this wasn't so perfect, but do I risk loosing the one good thing left? Do I risk loosing you?

sincerely,
me...