Here I sit, in the year 2020, dating a man I never expected to be with in the first place. The last relationship had finally run its course, coming to an unfateful end when initially, I thought it would have been my only relationship. This new relationship, however, had started years prior in a cruel game of ghosting and reappearing into each other's lives periodically over the course of several years. For years, I lived in denial when it came down to how I felt about this man, claiming that it was nothing more than lust or some strange infatuation, but finally, the cloth was pulled from my eyes and I could come to terms with how I really felt.
His energy has always been a calming presence amongst the storm that used to be my life; soothing and safe. With one side-eyed glance and a flash of his dazzling smile, I turned into putty before his very eyes. Oh, those eyes and how they captivate me; the brightest and boldest shade of blue, attempting to hide the sea of emotions that lie below. Each and every day it's those eyes that gaze at me as if I am the most precious thing on the planet; undressing all layers of me internally and tearing down my walls to expose the truest version of myself that I can be, along with placing me upon the highest pedestal to display the greatness that he sees in me. Each day he floods my ears and my inbox with words of adoration and pride, building up my confidence little by little. His loving words are carefully thought out and always come straight from the heart, therefore putting me deeper under his spell.
I have been given the wonderful opportunity to be able to experience love in its fullest form with a man that would find a way to bring me the planet Saturn just to see me smile. My first experience was as much as you would expect to come from a first love; simple, new, and comfortable (almost too comfortable), whereas this time around the block, it runs so much deeper than that. This is a love that has been in the making for a long time coming. The kind of love that was fought for with all the odds against us, yet we still reign supreme. Our love is easy, pure, and feels exactly like home. Because of the years I was in denial, I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to love him the way he loved me. I was afraid that once I finally had the opportunity to bite into the forbidden fruit that its flavors wouldn't be as fulfilling as I had brought it up to be in my head, but oh how has it surpassed every expectation and more. Each moment I spent with him had me falling harder and harder, making each and every goodbye more and more difficult.
As I write this, he sits beside me on our Skype phonecall. Every moment I think of him, my heart swells. He is the embodiment of every girl's dream man; my Prince Charming. We rescued each other in our darkest moments, and now that he has shown me the warm embrace of the sunlight, I never want to leave. After years of passing side glances and longing looks from across a classroom, having gone from not being allowed to speak to each other to be able to fall asleep in his arms almost every night, shows that waiting was worth it.
To my sixteen-year-old self, I can't thank you enough for greeting the new boy in class to make him feel welcome. The moment you decided to sit next to him and befriend him was the moment you truly met your soulmate. It may have taken three-and-a-half years to finally realize it, but doing that was one of the best decisions of your life. With him, you never have to worry about he will react when you both need to have a serious discussion. He will always find ways to make you laugh and smile, no matter how upset you are. You both will be able to read each other like the backs of your hands without fail and both will almost always be on the same page about something.
To my partner, as I know you will be reading this, I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. For years you have always been there to show your support, as I have for you. All the times that you had been forced to leave my life are behind us, as I can only picture my future with you by my side. I will always see the best in you, no matter what happened in your past; I accept all forms of you with an open heart. You have taught me many things in a matter of only a few months; you've taught me to love myself in all aspects, you taught me how to connect with my family and friends, you've shown me how smart I really am by bantering with me for hours on end, and most importantly, you have shown me how love is really supposed to feel. There are no dull moments with you, and I eagerly await each moment I'm allowed to spend with you while we're stuck on this earthly plane. You have given me the greatest gift I could ever receive just by being my best friend, and for that, I will be forever grateful.
This love, my second and most powerful love, burns with a deep passion. I truly feel as though I have found my soulmate in the form of the last person I would ever expect. I had never before truly understood the love that is heard about in movies and on tv, but I can say for a fact that it is real. I have never before felt this level of constant ecstasy, nor had I ever understood what it was like to be adored by one person. I am eternally in your debt, my love, as there is no way I could ever be able to repay you for the most precious gift I have ever been given; a best friend I get to spend the rest of my life with.
~ E
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Poems by Me
شِعرJust a bunch of poems I make. Sorry if they're depressing sometimes, I tend to write what I feel
