Short Mini TwoSet Fluffs

Darkest Nights

I need You to know. I'm here. And if it's not me, You know, You have someone.

But You're not alone. And You'll never be.

This is for everyone struggling with dark nights.

I did, too. I even do now, sometimes. 

But even after the darkest night, there will be sunlight in the morning.

And if not, the day after tomorrow.

The sun will not leave You alone.

The aftershow party was so much fun and after falling dead tired into bed, Brett woke up in the darkness. He has this strange feeling in his gut and rolled over to find Eddy's warmth just to find an empty place with a  cold pillow.

After searching for his glasses, throwing a jumper (his? Eddy's? who cares) over his shirt and starts looking for his lover.

It didn't take him too long to find Eddy curled up on the stool of their grand piano, rocking silently forth and back. He didn't seem to notice Brett, so Brett sneakes up behind him and standing behind the younger, lays his arms gently around Eddy's shoulders and pulls his head into a gentle hug.

"Eddy my love, mind telling me what's going on in your beautiful mind?"

Eddy snuggles into the warm hug and sighs.

"Bretty... I can't sleep.
I figured, if I can't sleep, might as well go ahead and work on some music, so that it won't hang around in the back of my mind.
Today's gathering was so much fun because it's like this one day people go out of their way to make sure I have fun. And it makes me uncomfortable because everything feels so forced and unnatural. And I hate myself for thinking this way...
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that the more "enjoyable" the party, the more I feel like it's insincere.
And I know, I know that sounds really harsh, but I can't help it.
All I can think is, "They're only doing this because I played a decent concert. They wouldn't do this any other time."
Despite this, I do my best to be appreciative, because at the end of the day, I don't deserve anything and yet received so much. I truly, sincerely appreciate any gift I receive because I deeply believe I don't deserve to receive anything at all.
I know it's no secret that I have a very low view of myself, but when I'm in the center of attention, my self-worth just becomes completely non-existent. And I struggle with this so much.
I hardly ever ask for anything, even on my birthday. As much as possible, I don't ask for anything at all.
But for after this solo concert, I asked for so many things.
I requested a dinner that was inconvenient... 
I even asked you to serenade me.
And now I feel like shit. It's so stupid and selfish."

Brett listens to every word Eddy says and into the half of the talk, he had tears rolling down his cheeks. He snuggles into the youngers head and kisses the top of his head, his temples, his nape, his cheeks, nose, ears, back to the temples and again the top of his head.

"Eddy my love" Brett wouldn't dare to talk loud, so only small whispers escape his lips, only slightly audible for Eddy "I would serenade you every day. I would go out for dinner with you every evening. I can really understand your thoughts and I know you can't change them. I know I can't change them. But I can assure you, all I do, I'd do out of love for you. And you know how much Hilary adores your dad jokes and how much Ray loves your violin playing. He was all dreamy about your concert the whole night. The fall of emotion can't be stopped but I know, you'll fall asleep soon in my arms and I know you'll wake up tomorrow and the sun will be shining. And don't feel shitty about giving requests or wishes. a world without wishes is meaningless. and I'd love to grant you a wish every day of my life. I was thinking about serenading you way before you asked me, but your specified request just gave me the last push to really do it. and serenade something you want to hear is much more satisfying for me. so don't feel so bad for me, don't feel so bad for any other. you are a gentle, kind man and you deserve everything I want to give to you. and everything anyone wants to give you. don't doubt yourself so much."

Brett pulls Eddy on his feet, Eddy silently following but not resisting.

"Eddy my love, come into bed, I'll let you sleep in my arm."

"But Brett, I'll drool."

"I know. despite that. You're allowed."

"Brett I hate my thoughts."

"I know. But you can't change them now. but maybe tomorrow. or the day after that. and if I can help, I'll help. If you need a serenade session every night, I'll do that. but I'll repeat my repertoire, dude."

Chuckling, Eddy curls up into Brett's arms.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

With Brett at his side, he could imagine a brighter day.

"I love you, Eddy."

"I love you too, Brett. Thank you."

"No, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. And never hesitate to do so. Even if it means to wake me in the middle of the night." 

"Sorry."

"Don't be, don't be."