Peter Parker oneshots

WTF

About: Steve, Loki, and Thor go around trying to figure out how the world works.

   "So I just push this button and this... toaster you called it? Heats my bread?" Loki looked at Peter for confirmation.

   "That's right, Mr. Loki." Peter nodded.

   Loki looked at it like it was about to make an attack at any given moment. He sighed and pushed the button yelping when it "ate his food" as Loki would say. "Give me back my food! I'm the prince of Asgard! The god of mischief! How dare you steal my food. I demand you give it back this minute."

   "Umm... Mr. Loki..." Peter looked at Tony, who was at the table. not sure what to do. Tony only rolled his eyes and shook his head. Loki continued to yell at the toaster making threats.

   "Arachnid, if toaster does not give me my food back I will stab it." Loki huffed. The toaster made a ding making Loki jump. "So, you finally listened. If you ever steal my food again I won't hesitate to stab you."

   "Wait, no! It's supposed to do that." Peter tried to explain.

   "Toaster steals our food then gives it back to us heated?" Loki asked.

   "Basically." Peter shrugged.

   "Midgardians are strange." Loki said.

———

   "What game are you playing?" Steve asked.

   "Pac-Man." Peter answered.

   "How do you play?" Steve asked.

"You see this yellow ball? That's you. You have to eat these yellow dots and avoid the ghosts. If you hit the ghosts then you lose. If you eat one of these cherries, then you can kill the ghosts. If you eat all the dots, then you get to move on to the next level. Understand?" Peter explained.

"I think so," Steve nodded unsure.

"Do you wanna try?" Peter raised his eyebrows.

Steve knew nothing about technology and the modern way of people, so he thought why not. "Sure." He didn't know how hard it would be.

"I just killed that ghost." Steve killed the ghost only to have it respawn and kill him in return.

   "Once you kill them they respawn in that box and can go after you again." Peter said.

   "They cornered me. I couldn't go anywhere." Steve complained.

   "That's what makes the game hard." Peter nodded.

   After many attempts to win the game, Steve got so angry he accidentally broke the computer. He apologized over and over again and gave him a hundred dollars for another one. He didn't know how much a new one would cost and back in his day a hundred dollars was a lot.

   "It's OK Mr. Rogers. I'll just save up for a new one. Don't worry about it." Peter smiled.

   "I'm sorry, Peter. I shouldn't have lost control over my strength." Steve frowned.

   "It's alright, Mr. Rogers. I know how easy it is to lose control over your strength. Especially when you're frustrated, excited or feel an abundance of emotions." Peter said.

   "What happened here?" Tony walked in on the two.

   "I lost control of my strength and broke his computer." Steve looked down disappointed in himself.

   "But it's fine, really! I can save up for another one." Peter said.

   "You don't have a job." Tony reminded.

   "I can run concession for some events. If I do that then the school will give me some money. It won't be long before I can buy another one." Peter grinned.

   "Or I can just buy you another one." Tony said.

   "No it's OK. I can just buy another one." Peter insisted.

   "Kid, I'm buying you another one. You can't talk me out of it." Tony just walked away.

———

   "Peter, son of Stark, I'm in need of your assistance." Thor called.

   "What is it Mr. Thor?" Peter sat next to Thor, who was on the couch, and looked at his phone to see the issue.

"Why is this phone laughing at me?" Thor asked.

"It's not laughing at you. It's called an emoji." Peter said.

"What is this... emaji used for?" Thor looked at the phone with confusion.

"Emoji. It makes it easier to show emotions over text. Like if you're angry at someone, then you can send them this emoji 😡. Or if someone said something funny, you can send them this emoji 😂." Peter explained.

   "So I made Stark laugh." Thor said.

   Peter looked at what Thor sent Tony and frowned. He brought out his own phone and quickly sent Tony a text.

Mr. Stark it's not nice to send Mr. Thor stuff just because he won't know what it means

   A laugh could be heard from the next room. The laughter continued for several minutes before dying down.

Maybe not kid but it is funny

———

   "Stupid toasters stealing food." Loki muttered as he sat down on the couch.

   "Ghosts are bullies." Steve pouted sitting next to Loki.

   "Brother, Rogers, I've learned all about these emajis. Do you want to learn. It's raather helpful." Thor grinned.

   "I hate technology." Steve glared at the air.

   "No! No more of these midgardian tools. I've had enough of this stupid planet." Loki growled. 

   Thor walked away from the two angry people. He started to send a bunch of different combinations of emojis to Tony until Tony blocked him. Then Thor started sending them to Peter. Peter would send emojis right back to him and the pair stayed up all night talking in emojis.