I dream every night. When it comes to dreams, I am a bit perculiar. I dream vividly. I can lucid dream, and slightly Astro project. I thought it was worth it to record my bizarre dreams and reflect on them.
I have wanted to get started on this journal log way sooner than this, but I've been dealing with a lot emotionally and it affects my sleeping greatly.
Lately a lot of my dreams have been about humiliation. People who are out to get me or embarrass me. In such dreams I am constantly seeking approval while being belittled and rejected.
I have anxiety and depression. Lately I wake up anxious as hell and when it's time to wind down, the same thing happens. This affects my ability to remember my dreams. Once I wake up my focus is on not having a panic attack, which is way more mind occupying than trying to remember a dream.
However, I did manage to remember a piece of my dream from last night. Like I said, I dream every night. When I come to, I don't always remember. Lately I can sense that my dreams have been very intense. They usually always are, but I can sense that it has been. I'll have issues with memory. Like wait, that didn't happen in reality? It seemed so real. Or I'll be extremely exhausted even waking from the night.
06/23/20
Last night I had an intense dream. I wish I remembered more details. However, the only thing that I could remember and that was worth noting was a fraction of my dream.
People were out to get me as usual. I believe I was walking to work, when I saw a car attempting to bend the corner quite erratically. I had already started to make my way across the walkway to get to the other side of the street. I slowed down my pace so this car would be able to turn smoothly without injuring me. As he rode past I said
"You can go ahead and go."
I recall myself trying to be friendly. This man was in a red pick up truck SUV type of car. He had on a plaid shirt and honestly looked racist. I'll admit I have my stereotypes. He was the perfect representation of what a racist white man would look like.
"I was going to go anyway." He shot back coldly.
I was enraged immediately. I was offering to let him be in control and have the right away even though the right away was mines. He didn't look like he attempted to reduce his speed not once. If given the chance, he may have ran me over.
"You racist bitch."
I shot back disgusted.
I wasn't sure if he was racist, but I was absolutely sure of it at the same time.
After that I made it across the street where my job was located. This was not my place of employment in reality, but rather an institution my brain created for me to represent I had a job. It was nothing of significance.
Everything I hope doesn't happen in my dreams in certain situations usually happens and it's annoying.
The guy who almost ran me over parked right next to my place of employment. I thought he would have kept riding down the street, but he didn't. I was shocked. I wasn't looking forward to confronting him. I didn't know what he'd say. I was sure he'd check me about calling him a bitch.
That's pretty much all I remember. I do recall other snippets of other parts of my dream, but this was most relevant.
———————————————————————————— Thank you for reading.
Do you usually remember your dreams?
Are you in control of your dreams?
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