Snippets of my mind

Just"habit"

Laughter, stolen smiles, side stares, small talks, getaway spots... they had it all! They were happy, most of the time. But somewhere down the line, what filled them both and drew them together faded away and what remained in between was just "habit"... They held on tight, tried, very hard... He, on one side just couldn't let go of "THE BOX". She,on the other, just couldn't let go of her pride and believed all that happened was pure innocence... He, thinking he could manage both without creating friction, meaning Using the box instead of her as confident, She, always worrying she'd never be enough... He, just like a magic "grimoire",only opening to one his heart belongs to She,still hoping he'd fully open to her... He, always trinna make it no big deal She, just wishing he'd take her feelings seriously... They were happy, most of the time... Happy, that, they'd been.. But somewhere down the line, what filled them both and drew them together faded away and what remained in between was just "habit"...

She started to doubt her ability to trust She started to think lesser of herself for not being able to win him over She started to wonder, ask to herself all sorts of "what

She started to wonder, ask to herself all sorts of "what ifs?" She felt useless, powerless, uncertain, just, NOT ENOUGH... When she tried to explain, He called her Stupid When she'd share how she felt He'd tell her "You're wrong, I'd never make you feel that way... " When she'd say how sore she was from an unwanted battle, against something, someone she didn't even know; He'd say "It's all in your head..." Fighting a secret box can be soo exhausting... She knew she couldn't compete with it, but held on, cause she believed... They were happy, most of the time... Happy, that, they'd been.. But somewhere down the line, what filled them both and drew them together faded away and what remained in between was just "habit"...

Now... what else?? She's laying in bed, wondering, sad and exhauted While He's out there, chilling, secret box at reach, talking, sharing, confessing... He used to... somewhere along the line... yeah, she remembered, he used to share... But that short time's long gone, history... Yeah she remembered Him, patiently waiting for her Him putting up with her mood swings Him telling her "don't worry, we'll make it, together!" Him always one call away

Him always one call away Him always available to lean on when needed... Equal share, common ground, mutual understanding... Him, there for her;she, there for him... She remembered... She knew she wasn't perfect It did cross her mind that she might have done something wrong but how would she know if he never talked? not to her anyways... Now thoughts jumpin' in her head, her mind swirling like a tornado: what now? What's left? Is the fight still worth the hurt? Yeah, they were happy, most of the time... At least they used to be... But somewhere down the line, what filled them both and drew them together faded away and what remained in between was just "habit"...

MonaJoe

 Mar 4, 2018