A Million Roads to Nowhere

The Bloody Kind of Heartbreak

Good night, Patrick repeats over and over in his head. Good night, Lena whispered as she tucked her face into his neck, ready to go to bed. Good night, she said, like it wasn't the last thing he was ever going to hear her say. Good night.

Patrick stays in the room Lena used, tucked up in her bed. She hadn't used this room much recently, preferring to sneak into Patrick's, but all her clothes are in here and it was still hers, for all it's worth. Her bed isn't warm and it doesn't smell like her, but she was here, once. Now, she's out on the fountain- a new statue for Rozenn's courtyard- collecting piles of snow on her lap and shoulders. Her soul, somewhere in the Below, maybe free- hopefully free.

He buries his face in her pillow and thinks, I've failed her.

The weight of the blankets on top of him is heavy, but he doesn't want to move and doesn't want to come out of the cave he made for himself. The sporadic bursts of tears have stopped coming so often, but every once and a while his eyes water and he has to breath slowly until he can blink the tears away.

He hears the creak of the hinges as the door opens slowly and the thud as it closes, but doesn't feel like getting up to see who it is. He knows it's Aodhan as soon as the bed dips under his weight and a hand cups his cheek and runs through his hair once before settling on his side.

"I brought you some food," Aodhan says. "Care to have some?"

"Not really," Patrick mutters.

"I wasn't actually giving you an option. Up you get."

Aodhan tugs lightly at his hair and, seeing his not going to win this, Patrick sits up and leans against the headboard, rubbing his raw eyes as a plate of beans, bread, and spiced meat is set in his lap. Aodhan presses a fork into his hand and he begins eating out of necessity. The food doesn't taste that good, anyway.

"That help some?" Aodhan asks.

No, Patrick thinks, but responds with a noncommittal shrug.

He's glad that when he finishes the food, Aodhan doesn't try dragging him out of the room. He'd rather sleep, and if Aodhan wants to watch him, then fine. He pulls the coverlet around him and ducks back into bed without another word. Aodhan sits with him, fingers scratching along his scalp.

When he wakes up, Aodhan is gone. Instead, he's replaced by Signe, who sits in the chair by the window, quietly sketching something in her drawing book. She looks over when he stirs and comes to sit next to him. She quirks a strained smile and moves to sit by him.

"Want to see some drawings?" she asks hesitantly.

"Sure."

He pushes himself up and Signe sets her book in his lap and flips through the pages to show him all the new sketches she's done. She skips over a few pages, saying she's only going to show him the good ones and the finished ones. He nods along to her words, barely hearing them.

Patrick tries his best to give her his complete attention, but his mind wanders to Lena. Rationally, he knows that Signe can't bring her back. Not only is her body ruined, but it's already been a day. She's long gone and he knows it, yet that doesn't quell the urge to ask. Everytime he opens his mouth to say something, the words die in his throat and he shrinks further into his throne of blankets.

Signe does quick sketches of various objects in the room to show to him and he tells her that they're very good and she does some more until Aodhan brings in more food which could be either lunch or dinner- Patrick doesn't know or care either way. He eats mindlessly until they leave him alone and then goes back to sleep.