!! trigger warning !! mentions of suicidal thoughts
It was late in the night and Jangmi was unable to fall asleep. She laid awake in bed, pondering on all the things that had occurred.
Taehyung had kindly accompanied her to the doctors. She got a cast for her ankle and was told to take it easy for two weeks. As if she didn't have enough trouble already, she also had to deal with this injury. It was so unfamiliar to her: this chaotic lifestyle. She wasn't used to things not going her way. Feeling defeated at how easily she felt unsettled, she scolded herself mentally. This was not the woman she wanted to be. She wanted to be strong and resilient, someone that had a thick skin. In order to be this version of herself she needed to toughen up.
Taehyung had noticed that she was not her usual cheerful self and invited her to have lunch with him. It was a good distraction but once Jangmi was back home again, she felt her heart sink again. The hours flew by and nighttime approached.
The thoughts plaguing her mind gave her no rest. Tossing and turning, she eventually gave up, sitting up in her bed. In only a few hours she would have to get up and get ready to head out for uni. After uni she also had to work a 4 hours shift at the music store. Wondering how she was going to conquer the day without getting proper sleep, she leaned her back against the cold wall, as she moved her curtains a little to look outside the window. She had placed her king-sized bed in the corner of the room, blocking half of her glass balcony doors.
She was surprised when she saw a dark figure move. Yoongi was out on his balcony, a cigarette between his lips. His head hung low as he was leaning against the railing, looking down at the streets.
Jangmi couldn't help but watch him quietly. He was in his boxer shorts and an oversized hoodie, his feet bare. It must be cold out, why had he gone out like that ? He was going to catch a cold. Catching herself in her thoughts, she wondered why the hell she cared.
There was something about the way he stood there, shoulders hanging as if life was weighing him down, that made her heart sting. Who was this guy ? Did he have a family ? Was he in trouble? Where did he work ? Why was he always in such a bitter mood ? And was he happy ? So many questions she had about him, but was she ever going to get the answers ? Did it even matter ? He was the total opposite of her, they would never get along. He didn't want to have anything to do with her to begin with, he had made that very clear the day she had moved in. She wasn't so sure herself whether she wanted to have anything to do with him.
Despite her distaste in him, she had to admit feeling drawn to him. He appeared like a mystery in her eyes that she wanted to solve. He didn't present much of himself and the constant secrecy made him this unattainable guy. Like most forbidden things, he was intriguing and Jangmi was undeniably intrigued by him. She wondered where this would lead her, how far it would take her. It worried her a lot. She couldn't let herself get all consumed by him, this wasn't healthy. Especially when their relationship was one-sided.
Leaning her head in the corner, she watched him take deep drags from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke through his lips as he leaned his head back in his neck looking up at the sky. He stayed like that for a while, staring at the night sky. Jangmi wondered what he was thinking right in that moment. Was he in awe of the beauty of the starry night ? Was he tired or couldn't he fall asleep like her ?
Yoongi was once again stood on his balcony for fresh air, thinking of how fucked up he was. What had he ever achieved in his miserable life ? What was the point in dragging this empty shell of a body from day to day, hoping that maybe this time life wouldn't suck as much and a miracle would occur ? He had stopped believing after her. She had been the one to reteach him how to believe again when he was 16. When she left him at 19, she had taken his faith in life with her completely, leaving him with nothing but bitterness and heartache.
