Aren't You A Little Young To Be Building An Interdimensional Portal?

Chapter 5

"Agent P?" Major Monogram's puzzled face appears on the screen. "What are you doing back here?"

Perry just chatters his teeth, too preoccupied with the email he's sending to even look up at his boss.

"Agent P?" Major Monogram repeats warily. "Is everything okay?"

Perry holds up a finger, gesturing for Monogram to shut up as he finishes his email, then hits the send button very dramatically before looking back up.

"What's this?" Monogram asks just moments later. "An email?"

Perry waits impatiently for him to read it.

"'30 percent off Hawaiian shi—'" Monogram cuts himself off when he sees Perry's annoyed look. This has to be the first time he's ever acknowledged Perry's facial expressions. "Oh, wait, you sent me an email, too. Hang on."

Perry crosses his arms.

"Here we go," Monogram says. He mumbles as he reads it, and it seems to register about halfway through because he exclaims, "Great googly moogly! Doofenshmirtz accidentally brought two guys with guns into our universe?"

Perry nods solemnly. He had purposely not mentioned that technically, he was the one to do it, but the guilt is still weighing on him.

"That's ridiculous!" Monogram declares. "This is a kids' show, for crying out loud!"

Perry rolls his eyes.

Monogram finishes reading, then looks at Perry. "They were near your host family's house?"

Perry nods.

"And now you can't find them?"

Perry nods again.

"Have they interacted with your host family?" Monogram asks.

Perry shakes his head. They were the first things he checked on. He even waited for Phineas and Ferb to peek out of their weird arena globe thing before heading down to inform Monogram. Candace is on the phone with Stacey, so she's okay, too. And, of course, Linda and Laurence are at some antiques auction downtown, so Perry's not too worried about them. Linda has a knack for staying out of things, anyway.

"Good," Monogram says. "We don't want these men to compromise your cover."

Perry nods warily. Only Monogram would make this about his secret identity. Perry wants his family to stay safe, and he will do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal, even if his identity is compromised in the process. Obviously, he'd like to avoid that if possible because he likes to spend time with his family, but if that's what it comes to...

"Well, sir, they did just build a giant Baseball W-6 stadium in the backyard," Carl remarks. "That could draw some attention."

That's exactly what Perry was afraid of. He's not sure if Carl knows this because he keeps tabs on the Flynn-Fletchers or if it's just because they're doing something huge again, but he hopes it's not the latter. If Carl found it by accident, the two dimension-hoppers could, too.

"They built a what?" Monogram asks.

"A Baseball W-6 stadium," Carl repeats.

"What's Baseball W-6?"

"Well, sir, it's —"

Perry chatters loudly, cutting them off. He can usually just leave them alone while he sneaks off to do his job, but he needs his instructions. This is well out of his jurisdiction. He needs Monogram to tell him what to do.

"Oh, right, sorry," Monogram says. "Ordinarily, I would tell you to take care of them, but they have guns and we don't have the budget to pay your medical bills."

Perry scowls. What's the point of employee benefits if they don't even work?

"I think your best bet is to work with Doofenshmirtz to send them back," Monogram continues.

Perry gapes at him. Is he kidding? Doofenshmirtz can barely tie his own shoes. Perry wouldn't trust him with his own life, nevermind the lives of everyone in Danville.

"Now, Agent P," Monogram says. "Before anyone gets hurt."

Perry salutes him, then heads for his hovercraft. Well, this is going to be interesting.