Paper Houses |NH|

8:45 AM

I sat in my car staring out the window, lost in empty thoughts.  I was shaken out of my stupor by my phone alarm going off to let me know it was time.  I closed my eyes, rubbing them.  It felt as if I hadn't slept in months.  Then, again, my world had been in a bit of a loop for the past six months.

Getting out of my car, I opened the back door and grabbed the file full of paperwork I had been requested to bring before turning to make my way to the exit. 

Exiting the parking garage, I stopped at the street crossing, waiting with others to cross the street.  I looked up at the imposing building before me.  Staring up the façade of the high rise, I swallowed as the crosswalk turned green and we were told to move forward.

Momentarily losing myself in the chaos of the crowded afternoon streets of LA, I followed several people inside.  As I walked, I noticed how the people in front of me began splitting off towards the buildings and offices that would take them to their destination.  I followed several to the back lift and waited.

I looked around, looking in the faces of the people around me when I got a glimpse of my own appearance.  I had finally managed to get a haircut and trimmed up my facial hair.  I hadn't bothered much with it in recent months.  Every time I would cut it or trim it, in an effort to get myself out of this funk, it last only a day, at most, before I would slowly let it all grow back out into an unruly mess.

The ding of the lift notified me that it was time to keep going.  I got shuffled in with several other people.  The guy closest to the number pad asked what floor we were all going to.

"Nine, please," I said.  The little "9" lit up.  I was the only one but the looks I got let me know they all knew why I was there.

After the fifth floor, I was the only one left on the lift.  I took those last few moments of silence to close my eyes and steady my thoughts.  I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes to find myself staring at the ceiling.  It came to a halt and dinged as the doors flew open.

Stepping off, I turned and made my way down the long hallway.  I opened the door to the offices I had to go to.  Walking up to the receptionist, I greeted her with a stiff smile before speaking.

"Hello,  I have a meeting with----"

"Mr. Horan, hello, come on in.  We're ready."  I turned to the woman who had spoken.  

"It's Niall," I said, softly but loud enough for her to hear me.

"Good morning, Niall," she said as she stuck out her hand for me to shake.

I looked at her a moment, blinking again to try to wish myself away from this place but to no avail. I was really here and this was really happening. I shook her hand and followed her inside. Once inside, my heart stopped.  Standing by the window, sipping from a mug that I knew had to hold coffee with two sugars and creams, was my wife.