Paper Houses |NH|

5:34 PM

I looked over at her. She had her legs crossed, her hands resting in her lap, and her eyes closed.

We had both sat down, exhausted from the heat of the lift, but mostly exhausted from everything that had been said; all the confessions that were made; all the realizations we had come to. The lift had been filled with noise for the last half hour or so anyway, so even if we had wanted to speak, we wouldn't have heard each other.

We both felt a jolt and the doors of the lift opened. Vada and I both stood up as we saw Eve amongst the crowd of workers. We both stepped off the lift and made our way to the lobby, feeling the cold air hit our lungs.

"I want to apologize for all of this," Eve stated.

"It's okay. I think we needed something like to force us to talk," Vada said. "Needless to say, I guess we need to schedule another session to finish up, seeing as how it's the end of the day?"

"Yes, my office will call your lawyers in the morning, and we'll figure something out. Again, I want to apologize and I hope the rest of your day goes a bit better now. Have a good evening." Eve nodded her head and turned back towards the stairs.

"She's gonna walk all the way up to the ninth floor, isn't she?" I stated.

Vada made a little grunt, "Can you blame her?"

"Not at all."

We both turned to head out towards the streets, lifting our heads towards the sun as its warmth hit us.

"Vada?" I asked.

She turned to face me, her features the softest they had been all day. "Yes?" she answered, quietly.

"Why did we do this? What did we spend all this time building if this is how it's going to end? Why did we climb only to fall so far?"

She sighed. Not an angry or over dramatic sigh, like she had done earlier in the day. But, a real, soft, apologetic sigh.

"Niall, the only thing I can say is that ultimately we all think we can fly. We all think we're Icarus."

"What do you mean?"

"You know the story of Icarus, right?"

"I know he's the one with the wax wings, right? Who flew too close to the sun and fell to his death?"

"That's him. But his story goes beyond that."

"What do you mean?"

"He spent his entire life held captive. All he wanted was to escape from a violent fate and taste freedom. Freedom, Niall, freedom takes many forms. For some freedom is merely physical but perhaps, for Icarus...and for me...freedom of the body is not enough. Icarus needed freedom of the soul, and for that, he would have to escape into beauty. My soul needs to be set free, Niall."

"But we still love each other. I know we do. And your soul, Vada, I know your soul belongs with mine. You are the other half of me. How can we survive when the other half of us is missing?"

"We reached for the sun because it burned brighter and more purely than anything we had ever seen before. And, like Icarus, despite all the warnings, we couldn't resist flying higher and higher until we got too close to the sun; until it was too late. Niall, we all think we can touch the sun and not get burned; not fall. But, like Icarus, we are only human and the heat of the sun will burn us. And we will fall. We can only hope that we land where we're meant to land. And we did, we reached for the sun, Niall, we really did. But we both got burned in this. And we didn't land anywhere near each other."

"But we love each other. Vada, you can't just throw that away because you're afraid. I mean, you do love me, right?"

She looked at me a moment and I could see her debating something in her head before she shook her head and said, "I can't love you right now, if ever again. I can't love you or anyone else until I can love myself again and I cannot do that with you around. That may not make sense to you but it does to me and one day, I hope you'll realize that." She paused. "Niall, no matter where I go or where I end up, I know that a piece of me will always love you. I've spent the last seven years being able to call you my husband and to love you in the best way I knew how. But the last two years have forever changed us both. And we can't continue to think that we can carry on like this without completely destroying each other. I'd rather you hate me for a little while than resent me for the rest of your life."

"I could never hate you, Vada," I whispered.

She looked at me for a moment, the expression on her face I couldn't figure out. She stepped towards me and placed one of her hands on my cheek. She leaned in and ever so lightly kissed me. The feeling of her lips on mine again sent my head spinning. She brought her other hand up to my face, lightly tracing her fingertips along my skin, as my hands found hers. But just as I was about to deepen the kiss, to find a new way to convince her to stay, she pulled away from me.

She looked at me. The way the sun hit her face reminded me of the moment I knew I had fallen in love with her all those years ago.

"I don't regret loving you. I will never regret loving you. Because I can say I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin."

"We can feel it again," I said, the threat of more tears in my voice. I grasped her arms in my hands, not wanting to let her go. I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want to hurt like this.

She shook her head, softly before kissing me again. The warmth of her lips on mine filled me up with something I hadn't felt in a while.  She squeezed my hand before letting go and turning away from me.

I stood there on that busy LA street, the light of the day fading away, watching as she walked further and further away from me. But, I suddenly had hope. She had just given me hope.

"You forgot one important element about Icarus, my dear. Even when falling to his death, he did not regret flying; he had breached the domain that was thought only to belong to the gods as he conquered the skies. So, yeah, maybe he did fall, but for a few moments, he was truly alive. And maybe, just maybe, his flight was enough to give others hope; to give us hope. Icarus' story makes us ask ourselves what we would do with a chance to fly. I don't regret flying too high, Vada, and I don't regret flying with you. Maybe we didn't touch the sun, but we got closer than anyone ever has before.

'Never regret thy fall,
O, Icarus of the fearless flight
For the greatest tragedy of them all
Is never to feel the burning light.'

"You desire freedom of the soul but your soul knows where it belongs, in the end. In the end, your soul belongs with mine. And I will be right here, for when you return. And you will return; you will come back to me. And I will continue to love you as Icarus loved the sun – too close and too much, but never enough."

I smiled a little as her figure turned the corner and she was out of my sight. I would see her again, for that I was sure. And one day, her soul would come to rest with mine, once more.