What Happens Next

XVIII. Absolutely

My mother is in the hospital. Call me when you can.

He stared at his phone screen, his heart falling into his stomach. His mind jumped immediately to the kids. He knew they would be struggling just as much as JJ. He witnessed firsthand the stress JJ's mother put her through, but he knew she would never be the same if something were to happen. Immediately, he felt the pain of JJ's loss before he needed to.

The woman beside him took notice of the sudden shift in his mood, and grabbed his hand, showing support for him without yet knowing why he was hurting.

"What happened?" she asked, staring into his pained blue eyes.

"It's JJ. Her mom's sick. I need to call her."

The woman's face changed; pure sympathy sucked out of her features and replaced with sorrow and jealousy.

"Okay," she sighed, doing her best to remain supportive.

He stood up, his gaze fixed on nothing, but his eyes stared straight ahead regardless. He walked quickly out of his living room and into his family room, bringing himself to the privacy he would need to talk to her. She picked up immediately.

"Will?" She breathed into the phone. He could tell she had been crying, and his heart broke for her all over again.

"Yeah, JJ. I'm here," he responded softly, dropping himself into the embrace of his ugly plaid armchair, which his wife had tucked into the room which laid nearly constantly unoccupied.

"It's bad, Will. I don't know what I'm gonna do. The kids-" she stopped, her voice breaking.

Will listened to her breathe into the phone, calming herself, undoubtably attempting fight her tears.

"I haven't even told Henry," she admitted, finally speaking into the phone.

"What happened?" Will asked, redirecting the conversation so that he could understand the situation.

"She just. . . stopped eating," JJ responded despondently, "they're running tests to see if there's something wrong but she's so tiny, Will, she looks like a skeleton and the girls are just sitting in there with her watching her waste away. I don't know what i'm gonna do."

"Nothing's wrong yet, JJ. Not until you know for sure. Why don't you take the girls home and get some sleep. Just wait until tomorrow to figure it all out. They can come down here if they need to. We'll make it work."

"And take them out of school? Absolutely not."

"I'm just tryin' to help, JJ," he sighed, audibly displaying to JJ that he didn't want to fight with her, but he would if she made him.

"I know," he heard her sniffle, but ignored the fact that she was crying to protect her dignity, and his own sanity. He couldn't console her without bringing himself back to a place he didn't want to go.

"We'll make it work, JJ. It's going to be okay," he assured.

He knew her mother had been deteriorating for years, and he feared she didn't have much time left. He wished for JJ's sake that they were together. He would grab her hand, or rub her neck like he knew would always calm her down. He remembered how easily he could ease her anxiety just by wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. He wished he could be there for her, but he did not wish to go back. He closed his eyes, drawing his attention away from the thoughts of the woman who never loved him the way he loved her. He cursed himself for still loving her anyway. 

The comfort JJ hoped to find in Will when he called proved to be a dream unattainable for her. Will, the father of her children-- the man who loved her before she knew she could love herself-- would always be a person of security for her. She knew that she would always love him, and cherish the relationship they had, but she could not confide in him like she had done in the past. His words passed through her, leaving her to feel his desire to comfort her, but they escaped without effect; changing nothing. She craved the warmth she felt when she heard Spencer's voice. She wanted Will to bring the comfort of a friend that he simply could not share with her anymore. She wanted his words to change her like she knew Spencer's would. If only she had the courage to call him. 

"I'm here for you, JJ. Okay? Don't you worry about the kids. They'll be okay. We'll work that out when we need to, just worry about your mama alright?"

"Okay," JJ exhaled loudly, and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, "Do you want to talk to the girls?"

"Absolutely."