His Broken Angel (BoyXBoy)

XVIII

I swirled my drink around in my cup. I was at a cafe with Hazel. To say I was confused would be putting it nicely. Hazel stared at me through those blue orbs. I could tell she was upset. I had fill Hazel in on everything that happened these past days. The strange erie feeling, Cole and I, even about my own fears. The thought of getting attached was the part I hated the most.

Someone was bound to get hurt.

"For my twin brother and best friend, I will tell you that you are completely stupid." She said glaring at me.

"How so?"

"If your fear is about getting attached, do you plan to spend your life living alone?" She asked. I sighed.

"I want to get Dino out of my life first. For good. Then we can live together and leave happy ever after if that's a freaking thing." I said.

"And what if that takes years? What then?"

My head shot up from my cup and looked at her. The grip on my cup tightened.

"He's not gonna be there forever. He won't wait on you to decided if you want him or not. And it's painfully obvious that your smitten by him. Why not give it a chance?" She asked.

"He doesn't really know me. I'm afraid I'll hurt him." I said truthfully.

"Just because your name changed and some other stuff, doesn't make you a different person. You will still like the same things, you will still go the same places and you will still love the persons you are meant to love. Get him to know your heart and not your body." She said smiling.

"Sometimes you sound like a wise guru." I said laughing. Hazel glared at me before flicking a small salted peanut at my forehead with much force.

"Sometimes you can be a moron and an asshole. You still will need to tell him about your past." She said.

"If I give this a chance and it gets serious then I might have to. For his safety at least. But for now, the less people that know, the less danger."

Hazel nodded understanding where I stood on this matter. I wasn't afraid of falling for him. I wasn't afraid of how he could damage me just like Jason did. I was afraid he would get hurt. I was afraid he would hate me for the world I was thrown into. I was afraid that even if I said I was sorry, he would turn and walk away from me.

I was afraid of what I could do to him. Not what he could do to me.

Weird right?

They say life is a beauty. They say life has meaning. They say everyone has a purpose in life. But they are wrong. Life is only beautiful to those who have never known pain. To those sheltered from the real word, life is great. Life has a meaning to those who get past their obstacles. Life is of no greater value to those who despise it. Not everyone has a purpose in this world. Many were not born by choice. Many have become enslaved leaving behind the very definition of pain. What is the purpose of a low soul who only knows torment? Those who have never seen the sun rise? What is the purpose to those blind or deaf when all they long for is the ability to see the world or the ears to hear the sounds of the chirping birds?

I wanted to know. For right now, many are out there struggling to find their purpose or their reason for living. I was still searching for my purpose. How would it be fair to not know what you are or what you are meant to become and still long for the company of another? Ridiculous. A solemn pipe dream. I stared outside the windows. Yet, even though I know it's a pipe dream, even though I know it can't be real, I still believe it can. My surroundings faded. As of late, Cole was the only thing I could think of. Throughout all this, I don't wish to hurt him. And I know I'm being repetitive but can you blame me? When you start falling in love, it's hard not to think of all the hurt you will cost them.

My eyes widened.

No! This can't happening!

I shook my head. It's not real. Don't get attached. Don't fall inlove. Don't!

After a few more minutes, Hazel and I decided to part ways. I waited at the bus terminal, my mind everywhere but here. I boarded the bus bumping into a young girl. I couldn't see her face properly but her presence reminded me of someone. Someone I was really familiar with.

"My bad Sir. You should be careful next time." She said smirking. My eyes widened at the cold and erie voice. Something wasn't right. Just as soon as she said that, she vanished. I couldn't find her anywhere. I didn't even get the chance to see her face before she vanished. I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my head. I hopped off the bus and walked to my apartment. Cole was waiting outside my door for me. I hesitated for a bit.

Get him to know your heart

I sighed and opened my door. Now or never Austin.

"Coming in?" I asked. Cole stuttered a bit.

"Yea sure."

I sat down on the couch. Cole sat next to me. Too close might I add. I could basically feel his breath on me. I could smell his scent. It was comforting but it terrified me how unknowingly he had so much effect on me. I closed my eyes swallowing the tears that wanted to fall. I wasn't the best when it came to tackling my emotions head on. Cole sighed and pulled my head towards his chest. The scent of spices filled my nostrils. His fingers played in my hair providing me terrifying comfort. We stayed still for a while.

"Why are you afraid of trusting?" He asked.

"I've had a lot of betrayals in my life. That and the fact that you don't know me and it will hurt you if you do find out."

"Is it about your past?" He asked looking down at me. I gripped his shirt a bit tighter.

"Yes." I said not bothering to look at him.

"Then that's all I need to know." He said. I raised my head from off his chest and stared at him.

"What?"

"I'm serious. The past is the past. Yea it makes us who we are but it does not define us. If you don't want me to know about it right now, then it's okay. We can talk about it later on in life. It's the past for a reason." I looked at him.

"What if I don't want to ever tell you?"

"Then I'll wait until you do feel like telling me." He said smiling.

He fired the first cannonball. My castle was crumbling. Wall by wall he was bringing it down. And inside those walls were the grand prize. He knew that. I stared at him. He smiled so carelessly. As if, he was saying that my past isn't that bad. My eyes glossed over. This was the end for me. He was the champion.

***

My baby has started his quest. Hehe. Hope you guys still love me.

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MsComplex💋