XXVII

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I was clad in a dark blue jeans and a button up white shirt that had small sunflowers on them. The sound of music filled the background. Cole had decided to take us to a go cart place. I raced around the track bumping into Cole before speeding away. I laughed as I crossed the finish line victorious.

"Yes!" I yelled. Cole pouted. I climbed out of the go cart laughing. Days like these were fun with him. He walked up and wrapped his hands around my waist.

"I let you win." He said. I chuckled.

"Surrrre you did babe. Sure you did." I said laughing. Cole's smile was bright. That's when it hit me.

I

Called

Him

Babe

My eyes widened but before I could correct myself, his lips were on mine. My body acted on it's own accord and my hands wrapped around his neck. My fingers getting lost in his soft black hair. His hands were firmly securing me against his body. His kiss was rough and needy but filled with passion and lust. My eyes automatically closed to enjoy the moment. He nibbled on my bottom lip. A moan escaped my lips. All too soon he pulled away. I frowned slightly.

"Damn, I really do enjoy kissing you." He said. I blushed.

"Me too."

"Even though most times you taste like cigarettes. If this was anyone else, I wouldn't even kiss them." He said making me chuckle.

"I should probably quit smoking." I whispered.

"We will get there eventually." He said and kissed my lips once again. "But I want to kiss you as more than a friend or a friend with benefit. I wanna support you as the leading role. I wanna be there for you through all the good shit and all the bad shit. I wanna have petty fights with you just so I can apologize and we make up even if I did nothing wrong," I laughed a little at this, "I want to be with you. And not just as a friend or acquaintance. I wanna be with you as your boyfriend. So what do you say, will you be my boyfriend? Cause I really do fucking like you and I'll be damned if I let you walk away." He said.

By now I was pretty sure I was blushing mess. I kissed his lips.

"Does this mean I get to call you mine?" I asked.

"And I'll call you mine." He said kissing me again. I smiled brightly.

"Then yes. I would love to be your boyfriend."

Cole lifted me from the ground and spun us. I laughed as my body never felt so light, so free.

"You have no idea how long I wanted to ask you that." He said.

"What stopped you?" I asked.

What's stopping you?

"Your reaction. I didn't want to get rejected. And I was afraid it would end what we have. But it was worth the risk. Every second of it." He said.

I smiled but it didn't quite reach my eyes. Was I afraid of his reaction? Not quite. I knew what his reaction was going to be. But shouldn't I risk it all for him? I sighed.

"Cole I-" I began.

"Hold up love. I gotta go pay for our date, then we can go get food. Okay?" He said.

I nodded absentmindedly at his retreating figure. Maybe I could tell him when we were eating. I sighed. Everything seemed to be telling me not to tell him. I didn't want our relationship to be built on lies.

"Well fuck. You actually like him. Like you like like him." Hazel squealed making my ears ring.

"Thanks for stating the fucking obvious. I don't stand a chance anyways."

"Yes you do." She hissed.

"No I don't. I have my demons Hazel and I want to believe that if I get a few months with him, I'll be satisfied. But I won't. Fuck Hazel, I think I wanna stop running and be with him. I so fucking screwed." I said.

Hazel sighed.

"I say go for it. Let's get you home."

That night, her works rang clear. Go for it.

"The only thing you are doing right now, is creating excuses. You deserve a chance to be happy. And I get that you're afraid of happiness, afraid of love, but you don't get to deny Cole of happiness either. It's obvious he wants you. You're just too stubborn."

I sighed heavily. A relationship with Cole. I wanted it to be real. I didn't want to have to lie to him about anything. I wanted to be open with him. No, I needed to be open with him. I'm sure he would still accept me. Yea he would. I hated when he called my Austin. Every time the name rolled from his tongue, I wanted to hurl. The first day we met, I didn't mind. But now, I do. Cole walked back towards me smiling. I forced a smile to match his.

"Jamie and Hazel said they will be joining us for dinner. What do you feel like having?" He asked.

"Pizza sounds good." I said. Truth is, I didn't have much of an appetite. But the pizza place was closest to us.

"Good cause I was thinking the same thing." He said and intertwined our fingers as we headed for the pizza restaurant.

In that moment, I seemed to forget all about my internal battles. I leaned into Cole's warm embrace as we walked. Hazel and Jamie had already been there when we arrived. Apparently they were somewhere very close. I sat in the cubicle with them. Cole intertwined our fingers making me smile at him. Hazel squealed.

"Its official? Like official official?" She asked.

I blushed and Cole kissed my hand.

"Yes Haz. Its official."

Hazel squealed once again causing a few people to glance our direction. Jamie just looked at us smiling.

"Congrats bro. I'm happy for you both." He said.

"Happy? I'm fucking elated. It took them this long just to final be together and they already fucked." Hazel said making Cole and Jamie spit out their drinks that the waiter just brought. I smiled sheepishly.

"Too much info Hazel. How do you even that?" Jamie asked. Hazel scoffed.

"As if you didn't already know. And Austjn told me." She said smiling and waving off Jamie.

"I found out when I brought this one to meet Austin. He wouldn't shut up a hot bartender he met."

I glared at Jamie, "you told me you had already picked him up for classes." I said. Jamie scratched his head.

"So I may have put two and two together and set up a meeting. No big deal. Look at you both now." Jamie said laughing. I slapped Jamie upside his head making him laugh more.

"Either way. I'm glad they are together. Fine fucking lly." Hazel said. I giggled a bit.

"So am I." Cole said looking at me. I blushed as I looked at him. Cole kissed my head just as soon as the waiter came with our pizza. I had completely zoned out when Cole ordered for us. The waiter gagged a little which made me a bit self conscious. Alot of people were not comfortable with homosexuals.

"What are you looking at?" Hazel sneered. Hazel always hated those type of people while I, I thought everyone was allowed to have their opinion as long as it didn't affect me learning, contributing to society or living.

"N-nothing." The waiter said and rushed off. I smiled gratefully at Hazel. We ate with the occasional chatter from either of us.

It was fun. It was new. I was slowly changing. I turned my head towards Cole. And it's all because of the 6'5 guy with jet black hair and sliver grey eyes. All because of Cole Jackson I felt this way.

I was finally happy.

*****

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