C0NV3RG3 (Sequel to M3RG3)

Chapter 21

Thursday

Sleep. Eat. Attend lessons. Repeat. It was such an easy routine, but so difficult at the same time. Lyla and Natasha had been covering for me for most of the week, and I was more than content to sit back and watch the days unfold. Every time I phased out, the emotions were still there, raw and real as before. It took all the strength in me to not break down in public, to release those tears and breath-racking sobs I had been choking on for the entire day. All I could do was bottle them up, let them rage within me, before unscrewing the lid when I was alone, or when my time as Astrid was up.

"Arista, I'm going to tap out at any minute," Natasha yawned. "Help us hold off for 4 hours, thanks."

Instantly, all my emotions unfurled like a wilting flower, unleashing waves of anguish, guilt and frustration, dragging me down like an unstoppable tide. A searing pain grew at the back of my mind, consuming me in its raging fire. My emotions howled around me, and there was so much chaos, and darkness. I couldn't do this.

Four hours. Lyla whispered. You can do it.

The wind quieted, and the pain faded. The emotions were as raw and painful as that day, and it took every ounce of strength within me to pull on a mask of indifference. I stood in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the sympathetic stares of many Republicans. To them, I was a Merged member who had just gone through another phasing. They didn't know my inner turmoil that chewed its way through my heart, threatening to explode in one big mess.

Simulation class. Right. The blood painting the walls and the crackling of autumn leaves disappeared. My fingers automatically curled around the doorknob, watching the installed sensor blink green. Rebecca's head inclined towards me, her eyes almost demeaning. "You're late," She accused.

"Sorry," I mumbled, stumbling over my words. "I got held up."

"As I was saying," She continued. "We will be monitoring some simulations today. Pair yourselves up and we'll take turns doing it."

"Hey," Magnus smiled. "Wanna be partners?"

I glared at the rough flooring, then at the dull ceiling.

"Yeah sure," I muttered. "You monitor, I'll go first."

The pain of the needle was nothing compared to the convulsing of my heart. The world spun dizzyingly, and I let it spin me around until the colors faded and bleeded back.

The Affluent house. Yes, it was slightly different from the one I had been to, but it had the same crystal-clear panels, snowy white walls, and elegant trinkets.

Crumbling stone. Slabs of concrete. Creaking metal frames.

No. The crystal chandelier was iridescent under the artificial lights. It shimmered and gleamed, scattering fragments of light across the painted walls.

The chandelier was gone. The metal chain squeaked, swinging back and forth without any resistance. I focused on the faux covered carpet, curling my toes at the comforting texture.

The carpet was dotted crimson. Splatters of blood artfully formed a horrific stunning portrait.

Classical music softly played through the speakers, the melody calming and lulling.

Bang. Thud. Screams. Cries. Silence.

Caelan. He was standing here, right in front of me. The lab coat barely fit his gaunt and bony shoulders. His copper hair, glinting mischievously in the sunlight, was now drenched in blood.

"Why didn't you save me?" He whispered, his voice cracking like shattered glass.

"You're not real." But he seemed so real. His lab coat was bloodied and torn. His cheeks were hollow and sunken. He was limping, cracked and soiled fingers reaching towards me.