C0NV3RG3 (Sequel to M3RG3)

Chapter 23

Silence. "But-that-" Magnus spluttered. "That doesn't make sense."

"This person," I gestured to my entire body. "Is Astrid. But in here, it's Arista. For now, at least. Why do you think we go through phasing? Just to have a headache?"

"Are you implying that there are a few people in here?" He tapped a finger to his temple, lips pulled down into a contemplating frown.

"Two for you, three for me," I replied, then added, "Yes, it's very confusing, but that's the Merging Process for you."

"Let me get this straight." He was pacing again. "You were and still are a Revolutionary, you remember your past and what the Merging Process is?"

"More like what the Republic is," I snorted. "But yeah, that pretty much sums everything up."

"Was that simulation glitch a hallucination?"

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "Yes."

For a moment, we stood there, me chewing my lip, Magnus fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"I don't know what that was," I stared at my feet, my socks slightly worn from all the exercising. "All I know is that I have a mental ability to manipulate simulations, serums, and resist the Merging Process."

"So you accidentally manipulated the simulation to an idea you had in your head?" I expected emotions of shock, fear or disgust to appear on his face, but instead, it was a mixture of awe and concern. "That is so cool."

I let out a laugh. "That's a first. I'm glad."

We then settled into a steady rhythm of silence. Magnus slowly poured himself a cup of water as I swung my legs back and forth on the edge of the bed.

"I still don't understand. There are plenty of Merged members who could have heard the truth. Why me?"

"It's a long story," I smiled softly.

"Is this where you spill out your darkest secrets? If so, go ahead." A Kyle-like smirk flitted across his face. I suppressed a grin of my own. Sometimes, it was worth hurting just to have those fleeting moments again.

"Inside the Merging Institute, we became friends despite our differences, which we didn't know of. You worked for the Republic. I worked for the Revolution. I was hurt when I realized who you were loyal to. Still, it was nothing compared to my betrayal." I swallowed harshly. Memories flickered before my eyes. They were just as intense and raw as before.

"What exactly happened?" This was what I feared. The truth would make him leave, and I would be alone again. Still, he hadn't left yet, so that was a good sign.

"The genocide came. I sided with the Revolution to stop the simulation. You were guarding it. We fought..." I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I didn't want to look at Magnus, Kyle... Those names didn't matter anymore. "You had the upper hand, but..."

"But what?" Magnus pressed.

I bit my lip. "You saw me, and it gave Anthony enough time to shoot you with a tranquilizer dart. We shut the simulation down."

My toes curled against the faux carpet. "You turned us in. Anthony admitted his allegiance to the Revolution to save me. William killed him with Serum 0."

The silence remained, hanging heavily in the air. "Well?" I asked, my voice breaking.

He, too, was avoiding my gaze. "Is there any way to get our memories back?" He asked, his voice so soft I barely heard him.

"You didn't want to remember." I shook my head. "Besides, the Republic has no intentions of returning our memories back."

He paused, staring at me, his gaze unwavering. He saw through perfect Astrid. He was seeing me. Arista. The girl who made mistakes and was learning from them. The Merging Process was supposed to make us flawless, but here we were, still making mistakes, still imperfect.

"Why?" He prodded. It was such a simple question, but I knew the answer he wanted was the difficult one.

"You were hurt. You lashed out." I shrugged stiffly. "I don't blame you."

"How are you still here?" He lifted his hand, fingers raised to touch my shoulders.

All the pressure and weight came back, threatening to rush out of me like a faucet. I drew in a rattling breath. When I blinked again, my eyes were watery and I tasted salt at the rim of my lips.

"I don't know," I shrugged helplessly, inhaling another rattling breath. "I just am."

The buzzing of the air-con continued, filling in the endless stretched silence. "Sometimes, when the phasing dies down, and I look at you, I feel this weird twinge. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. But I think I know what it is now." His gaze slowly met mine, eyes blazing.

I drew in another shaky breath. "But you don't remember anything."

"I don't." He said. The way he looked at me spurred deja-vu, fiery and hot. "But that doesn't stop the feelings, does it?"

"When I see you, part of me feels light and happy. The other part of me feels horrible. It's a mixture of confusing feelings. That's why I tried to avoid you." He carefully sat down next to me. "At least it all makes sense now."

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to do, I guess. Help you out with all... That." I uncurled my toes from the carpet, folding both legs together on the bed.

"We were friends, right?" He asked tentatively, putting less emphasis on the word 'friends'. "Or were we... just acquaintances?"

"It's kind of in the grey area." And I didn't mean the 'acquaintance' and 'friend' grey area. "So, it's a little messy."

"Oh." His shoulders slumped. "But that doesn't mean we can't be friends now, right?"

The way he questioned about our relationship was so shy and unsure that I laughed. It was full blown laughter that made my cheeks hurt and left my lungs gasping for air.

Kyle sent me an inquisitive stare. "Sorry," I chuckled. "Inside joke."

"Was that... us?" He asked. "The laughing, talking..."

"I guess so, if you weren't part of the Republic, and I wasn't part of the Revolution. We could've been more. Much much more." I crossed my arms around my chest. "But it doesn't matter now. We're here."

"Tell me about the other two," He said, eyes trained on me.

"Lyla was really smart, especially at Sciences. All the serum, simulation and medical knowledge came from her. She's also left-handed and likes to draw, so Astrid's ambidextrous. Natasha's the special one, since she's eighteen. Astrid looks the most like her, since, you know, she's pretty. She's really good at Languages, although we still don't know how many languages Astrid can speak."

An audible sigh escaped from my lips. "This feels good. Being honest, not having to hold anything back."

"I'm glad," He smiled back. "I can't imagine how hard it was for you before."

I shuddered, but this reaction wasn't mine. It was someone else's.

My turn! Natasha sang. Sparks flashed before me, and my stomach gurgled nauseously. A pneumatic ringing filled my ears, and the pounding in my head intensified. Instantly, I lurched on my stomach, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. My fingers dug into my stomach. The room suddenly felt ten times hotter. "Wait-" I gasped.

The room was a dizzy whirl, and I was drowning beneath them. The waves rolled and rocked around me before spitting me out with their forked tongues. Shades of blue blurred into black, roaring and howling around my ears. I could only wait, back hunched, shoulders tensed, for it to end.

Finally, it did. I landed in a tangled heap, bruised and battered on the floor. The room slowly receded, until all was left were a blur of colors. The pain and nausea slowly faded, and by the time my senses sharpened, it was like they never existed in the first place.

A/N: Finally... Arista decides to come clean :D

So... I was thinking. Would you guys rather have me do more regular updates (twice a week) but wait longer in between stories or keep it as it is now?

Next update: 21st June