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I went surfing after my blow-up with JJ. I went straight to the beach I used to occupy after fights with Helen, and I surfed to hide from my frustrations. After I decided I was too tired to continue, I sat down in the hut I made years ago, the little driftwood shelter I used to hang out in, and rested.
I use to come here all the time to think about things, but right now I really didn't feel like thinking. Just the thought of thinking was controversial in itself.
I closed my eyes and evidently fell asleep for a little bit, a light breeze bracing through the cracks in the sticks propped up to keep me hidden. When I woke up, the sun was setting, but the beach was quiet and calm. That's what I liked about this area, it was always just for me.
Nobody really came to this area, so I always had an escape if I needed it, which I often did. I suddenly wished JJ was there with me at that moment. I missed his touch, I missed being near him, and I missed how he made me laugh.
I never realized how much I craved intimacy from JJ until I didn't have a choice in the matter. He was mad at me, and as far as he knew, I was mad at him. The funny thing was, though, that I wasn't even that mad anymore. I pitied him, he knew that, but I didn't want to rub it in his face.
I knew he was hurting, and I knew he needed to talk about it. I knew he needed to let it all out because his emotion-bottling mechanism clearly didn't work out for him. I used to bottle it up, and it really led me down a lonely road. I had zero friends for years because I was so afraid the people on Kildare island would shun me for my baggage.
Until I met the Pogues, my life was tiring and wasteful, in my opinion. I thought about running away at one point, stealing money from Helen and leaving for good, going somewhere like New York City, but realistically, I'd make it a day before being homeless.
I didn't have the facilities to live anywhere else but the stupid Outer Banks. It was beautiful here, don't get me wrong, but I outgrew the beauty and now only saw its corruption and social class division. I saw the bad more than any of the good. I had experienced it firsthand.
When I finally decided it was time I got up and headed back to my friends, the sun was almost fully set. There was still a little bit of light, luckily, and I used it to my advantage so I could get home without any struggle for sight.
It was tough navigating the island on foot in the dark, even after living here for so long. I walked along the beat-up road that signaled I was back on the central part of the Cut. My bare feet ached, but I made it back to the Wreck, where I knew Pope and Kie would still be.
I put my board in Pope's truck when I saw them and we all hopped in, planning to go back to the Chateau soon. "Where have you been?" Kie asked, and I shrugged, running a hand through my salt-water soaked hair. "I went surfing, sorry, today was just a little tense for me," I said and she chuckled.
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𝕓𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕕-𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕕 (JJ)
Fanfiction"Don't you dare fucking talk to me like that." I snapped at the seething boy in front of me. "Like what, princess? Like you're full of shit? Someone had to say it!" He yelled back. "No, don't talk to me like you're better than me! You and I are the...