The chronicles of this stupid lesbian witch

Lie

I lie here crying,
I'm alone,
The comfort of your arms is gone,
The feeling of safety is gone,
I thought I could trust you to keep me safe,
I thought you would never lie to me,
I thought you loved me,
I thought you wanted me,
I trusted you,
I trusted your words,
I trusted your touch,
I trusted that you would tell me,
I trusted that you would tell me if something was wrong,
I trusted that you would talk to me,
I trusted you,
I trusted you with my body too,
That's the scary part,
You're the only one who I trust to touch me,
You know that I'm broken,
You know I can't trust people,
But you lied,
I know you didn't want to hurt me,
I gave you the chance a couple months ago to come clean,
You said you missed me,
You said you loved me,
You said it was a mistake,
Maybe trusting you was a mistake,
I can't trust people,
Yet,
I still trust you,
I still fucking want you,
I trust you with my body,
You're the only person that I can trust to touch me,
I'm scared to be without that,
Your touch was my safety,
It reminded me I wasn't going to get hurt again,
But here I am,
Hurting,
I miss your embrace,
I love you,
But you don't love me and that has to be one of the most painful things I've felt,
I fell in love with you,
All of you,
Your personality,
Your stupid sense of humor,
Your scars,
I love everything about you,
When you smile it's like I can breathe again,
You make me so fucking happy,
But you didn't want me,
I thought you wanted me,
You made me feel worthy of being wanted,
Where is that now?
I'm alone,
My biggest fear is being alone,
I don't know if I've ever told you that,
But it is,
When I'm alone I have to just be happy with myself,
I get my happiness from seeing other people happy,
I get my happiness from spending time with those I love,
I've been so fucking happy the past two days,
Seeing you,
But it's hurt,
I want the comfort of your embrace,
But I can't have that anymore,
I can't have your love anymore,
I didn't realize how much that meant to me until it was gone,
And now without it,
It's just been hard,
I'm trying to learn to be ok,
But I'm hurt,
I want you,
I want you to have been honest,
I wish you hadn't lied to me!
I wish you would have told me the truth,
Cuz now I just feel like shit,
You did it to make me happy,
But I didn't want you to,
I wanted you to be honest,
I wanted to know that you were hurting,
I didn't know I was hurting you,
I asked,
I asked so often,
Because I trusted that if something changed you would tell me,
Just why