The Manstress [EdwardxJacob]

Daydreams and Nightmares ✨👻

Edward tries his best not to think about it. In some ways, it's easy. In others, it's practically impossible.

If he distracts himself with something else, it's like the need to think about it—him—disappears completely. But the moment he stops, the moment his mind is drawn back out into the world around him, it is in his head again.

It's a constant itch under his skin, a vague impression hovering at the edge of his consciousness.

He worries about Bella—about her finding out, about what she'll do, what she'll think. Divorces can be so messy, he doesn't even want to think about it. But he does.

He worries about how even though she doesn't know, their relationship is already crumbling. He wonders if, when it comes out, it'll be the straw the broke the camel's back, or if the camel's back will already be broken.

But thinking about it isn't always bad—and of course, that's the worst part.

Edward daydreams about getting his hands on him, sliding a thumb across his cheekbone and feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his fingertips.

He ruminates on that light, warm feeling he felt when he was with him—comes back to the memory again and again, until it is well-worn and familiar.

It's only when he catches himself that he feels guilty. Only then does that wonderful feeling diminish, replaced by the heavy, shadowy shroud that hangs over him near constantly.

So Edward tries not to think about it, but he's hardly ever successful.

All that day at work it's a struggle with himself, trying to put everything out of his mind and finish his reports. But he can't, not when he's all tied up in knots thinking about what will greet him when he gets home that night, imagining Bella's face turned stern as she asks "where were you last night?"

And what could he say? If she asks that, could he really look her in the eye and lie to her? Could he really not?

There's no good solution, Edward thinks bitterly, no good thing to say. No good way this can possibly turn out, and he's got no one to blame but himself.

But when he returns home in the evening, tense and fidgeting and bracing himself for something terrible, Bella doesn't ask "where were you last night?"

Bella doesn't ask anything at all.

They sit and eat salads at their dinner table in their house, and afterwards they retire to their bedroom and get into their bed. That night, Edward sleeps next to his wife.

He's exactly where he should be, but nothing has ever felt more wrong.

Notes:

Thanks for reading chapter four of The Manstress! I hope you enjoyed it :)

If you liked this chapter, please leave a comment or a vote. Your support means so much to me <3

~ahoge chan xx