The Manstress [EdwardxJacob]

The Morning After 👀🙈

It's a horrible feeling, waking up in someone else's bed and realizing what he's done. The moment it dawns on him, he feels cold all over, and something unpleasant lodges in his throat.

Jacob's sheets are softer than his, and they slide sweetly against his skin as he gets out of bed. His and Jacob's clothes are strewn across the floor, lying crumpled on the carpet where they'd abandoned them. Where they left them when they'd—

God, Edward's going to be sick.

He looks down at his left hand and something tightens inside him. His wedding ring suddenly feels too tight, too hot. Like it's burning a brand into his skin. He wants to take it off, wants to scrub his body clean of this, wants to turn back time and erase what he's done, wants to put on his clothes and walk out of here right the fuck now.

There's a noise from behind him, the rustling of sheets as Jacob sits up.

"Having regrets?" He asks, a hint of a smirk in his voice.

Edward swallows, eyes fixed on his wedding ring.

"I'm married," he says thickly.

"I'd noticed."

At this Edward turns to face Jacob, incredulous. Jacob's lips are turned up in amusement.

"You knew, and you still—?"

Jacob only grows more amused. "It's kind of hard to miss," he says, nodding towards Edward's ring. "And anyways, I don't mind."

Edward's mouth closes, his lips thinning into a line. "I do," is all he says.

Jacob tilts his head to look at him, considering. "I see."

Edward puts on his clothes in silence. Every piece of clothing feels like a layer of protection. Distancing himself from what he's done. Wrapping him up in a semblance of what he once was.

Faithful. Honest. Loyal. Husband.

When he's dressed he stands tall in this stranger's bedroom, and forces himself not to know him. Forces himself not to think of the intimacy they shared, on the basis of nothing but a name and a face.

There's tension in every line of his body, in the set of his shoulders and the pull of his mouth.

Inside he feels cracked open.

Jacob follows him on his way to the door, bare feet padding on the smooth hardwood. He's clad only in a pair of boxers, but his posture is casual, relaxed. Unashamed of his nakedness. Of the reason for his nakedness.

Edward wishes he felt the same. Wishes he could grab Jacob by the neck and push him up against his front door, kiss him until he forgets his own name. Say "let's do this again sometime" and mean it. As it is, the reality of the situation weighs heavy on him. He's sure the stress is shaving a year off his lifespan for every second he remains in Jacob's apartment.

When he reaches the door he stands stiffly, fingers curling and uncurling at his sides.

Jacob looks at him, and his gaze feels like a physical touch. He leans in, eyes dark, and Edward's heart thuds in his chest. He knows Jacob is going to kiss him, and his stomach lurches in anticipation. Jacob's face draws near and Edward can feel his breath on his skin. Please.

He turns his face to the side just in time, so that Jacob's lips just barely brush the corner of his mouth. Edward squeezes his eyes shut, his insides warring between guilt and the twist of want that curls tighter inside him.

Jacob steps back, eyes assessing. He's clearly looking for something, and by the reserved expression on his face, he's found it.

"Right," he says. "Married."

Edward swallows, still looking to the side.

"Yes," he says. "Married."

Edward feels guilt surge up inside him, but this time for a whole new reason. He doesn't take the time to examine it carefully.

"Well," Jacob says, straightening. "I guess that's that."

Edward turns his head to face him fully again, taking him in. His broad shoulders, muscled chest, strong arms and long legs. His lips. Edward's eyes trail over every inch of him. He's not entirely sure why, but he feels the need to grab ahold of this moment, of this man, of the freedom he felt just hours ago, the freedom he feels slipping through his fingers as he stands here.

There's a certain desperation building in his chest, and his head floods with half-sentences, anything he could say to make this right. But make it right how? For whom? The words die in his throat.

It's harder than it should be to drag his gaze back to Jacob's eyes. His voice when he speaks again sounds rough, low with want and bitter resignation. He can't have what he wants. He's married.

"I guess so."

Jacob must see something in his eyes, hear it in his voice because he bites his lip—rather distractingly, Edward thinks—and seems to come to a decision.

"Hold on a second," he says, and turns back into the kitchen, grabbing a notepad and a ballpoint pen from the counter.

Jacob leans over the counter, giving Edward a rather lovely view of his rear end, as he scribbles something on the notepad. He tears out the piece of paper and turns back to Edward, walking over and stepping in close.

"In case you change your mind," Jacob says, and presses the piece of paper into his open palm, taking Edward's fingers and gently curling them over it.

The contact sends a minute shiver through him. He wants to grab Jacob by the hips and pull him close, drag his teeth along the skin of his neck. He thought he could've done it, could've walked out that door and not looked back. But now that Jacob's touched him, all he wants to do is touch him.

He's never felt this way with anyone. It never felt this way with Bella.

Thinking of her has him going instantly cold, jerking back, flinching away from Jacob's touch. His fist closes tight around the paper in his hand and it crumples. The sound of crinkling paper is loud in the stunned silence.

"I need to go," Edward says.

Jacob's hands fall away.

"Of course."

The air between them feels stretched tight, tense and straining for relief. Something has to give.

Edward decides in that moment that it's not going to be him.

Edward can feel Jacob's eyes on him as he opens the door and steps out. The door closes heavily behind him, and he's left alone in the silent hallway.

Edward stuffs his hands deep into his pockets and walks away.

Notes:

Thanks for reading chapter two of The Manstress! I hope you enjoyed it :)

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who added The Manstress to their reading list, or commented or voted on the first chapter. Your support means so much to me!

If you liked this chapter, please leave a comment or a vote. Your support is what keeps me motivated <3

~ahoge chan xx