The Hidden Sister of Red Band Society

are you living...say something...tired eyes

I opened my eyes and heard various beeps and voices. The brightness of the room felt like I was standing in front of the sun.
"Uhhhhh," I groaned. I could barely make out anything in my vision. The shape of a person hovered over me.
"How're you feeling?" I heard. I couldn't think.
"Are you living?" I asked, "because if so, I need you to help me."
"Why is that?" the voice asked.
"My head feels like a brick."
"Okay. Can you sit up?" I could see better now, and saw Doctor McAndrew at my side.
I tried to sit up, but was greeted with a pounding headache and a burst of nausea.
"My head hurts," I said. Then I groaned again. "I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"Okay, then lay down. I'll get you some water." I nodded.
"Wait!" I cried before he left. "Is my leg still there or did you take it off?"
"See for yourself," the doctor said. I pulled up the sheets.
"My leg," I began, "it's...it's still there!"

____________________

I couldn't believe it! They had managed to remove the cancer-and kept my leg on with it!
The last of the anesthesia cleared my body and Doctor McAndrew arrived with my water.
"How'd you do it?" I asked him.
"Well, I have both good and bad news for you, depending on how you look at it," he said, ignoring my question. I nodded and sighed as he continued.
"Well, first and foremost I would like to tell you that the surgery was considered successful. You have to go to x-Rays and scans, let's see what you're listed for..." he paused and traced his finger down his clipboard, "...okay. I see. No, that was not the news. I'll have to tell you later." He nodded at me and walked out of the room, beckoning my mom in.
"Mom!" I cried. She ran over to me.
"Oh, Meghan!" She cried, hugging me. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, but they wouldn't let me be in here with you. Now they're only allowing immediate family. How are you feeling?"
"Fine, actually," I said. I tried to sound pleasant, but I felt a pang of ignorance toward her after she said those words. I shook it off and smiled.
"You don't seem fine," Mom replied, "look at you." I frowned.
"I'm great, Mom," I said hotly. "Nice to see you too. I'm going to x-Rays soon, you might want to leave now."
There was a silence.
"Well, say something!" I cried. "Nothing like 'good luck, honey' or 'I love you' or anything, just silence? Just say something to me!"
She turned to me, a tear dripping down her cheek.
"Honey, I would," she said, "but I can't."
"Leave now," I said, and she left quietly.

I swallowed and cried.

Then and there I vowed that I would never cry over something like that again.

____________________

My heart was racing as I was wheeled into the scanning room. I didn't know why, because I had gone through scans half a million times. But still, I was nervous.
The worst part about the whole thing is that I'm claustrophobic. I freak out when I go into the scanner. I'll never forget that first time I got scanned, and going into the machine I started crying. I was 11 then. Once I got into the machine, I almost passed out. One of the nurses asked, "Are you okay in there?" I started crying again. "Don't cry!" The nurse has said, "You'll get tired eyes! And tired eyes can't see the chocolate truffles waiting when you finish." Chocolate truffles. My favorites. I shut up then, and ate a whole bag of chocolates when I got out. Then, I threw up. That was the turning point for me, what started my weight-loss habits. It's the beginning of my second term in the hospital.
That was one of my worst memories.
Now, as I laid down on the table, I thought of that again. Taking deep breaths, I put on the headphones, closed my eyes, and tried to relax as the table thingy slid into the scanning machine. My paranoia had begun.