The Hidden Sister of Red Band Society

back home...magic carpet ride...heal

We processed into the hospital chapel, where the funeral would be held. I dabbed at my eyes and swallowed. This was it.

I replayed the whole night in my mind.

Asher tells me he wants to leave, but I want to stay.

He goes outside without me, I stay inside and pity myself.

The next thing I know, he has tripped and fallen, has hit his head dramatically, went limp,

and died.

My heels clicked on the floor, my leg burning. I know I should be strong, for him, for his family, but it all happened so fast. My mother holds my hand, and my lip shakes.

Asher's brother gives a eulogy, in which I silently sob.

"My brother always said to me, 'Gabriel, you never know what you have until you've lost it,'" Gabriel says. I nod, remembering how Asher had said something like that to me once. "I never believed him. Asher said to me, 'Back home, when I come, we're going to have so much fun together. I'll get to see my big brother every single day.'" Gabriel began to cry, and everyone else teared up. "He never got to come home."

I couldn't even describe the emptiness that overtook me then. It was like someone cut open my insides, pulled out my heart, and sewed me back up. But I knew I could recover. With great loss comes great gain. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was meant to be. He had to die. Why, I don't know, but God wanted him with Him. I loved him, but it wasn't worth the tears. Crying wouldn't do anything. He never got to go back home. Maybe I'll visit his family sometime.

I dried my tears and listened intently to the rest of the service. Asher would want me to. I could feel his presence, out of the coffin and into my heart.

I had to beat my cancer.

If not for myself, if not for my brother, or my doctor, or my parents, or the nurses...

I'll beat it for him.

_______________________________________

"I'm really sorry for you, Meg," Emma told me that night. "I...I know how much he meant to you. It's unfortunate that things had to happen the way they did."

I nod. "Thanks." There was nothing more to say. It's really those awkward silences that hang in the air that are the worst.

The next day, I woke up to bright sunlight and my brother shaking me.

"I'm leaving now, so get up and tell me goodbye."

"What the hell are you talking about? Leo, it's... NINE in the morning! I have a check-up in half an hour! Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"I'm helping teach Jordi how to drive. Sure gonna be a magic carpet ride."

"Just be nice, please? Don't stir up anything."

And he was gone, and left me scrambling to get ready for my appointment.
•••

"So, Meghan, how has your leg been feeling?" Doctor McAndrew asked.

"Like crap."

"Why is that?"

"Whenever I walk or run long-distances, it burns like flames. Which obviously isn't a pleasant feeling, you know."

"Which leg hurts?"

"Mostly the one you operated on, but the other leg actually has started bothering me also."

Doctor Mc.Andrew chewed his pen, looking puzzled.

"Let's get some x-Rays done, an MRI, the works," he called out to Brittany. She ran off, and Dr. McAndrew just shook his head.

The scans happened, like always, but I would have to wait a whole day for them to be analyzed, since they weren't of extreme importance. Figures.

I took a walk around the hospital before I was greeted by a frantic-looking doctor.

"Meghan! I'm so glad I found you. Listen, I have some news about the scans."

"What? But weren't you supposed to get the results in..."

"Tomorrow? Yes. But as I was skimming through, you know, I noticed that there was cancer left in your leg."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm not. You walking on it made it worse. And another thing. The cancer spread to your other leg. You're going to need surgery for both legs. And, Meghan, I am so terribly sorry to say this, but... well... we are going to have to remove at least one of your legs."

______________________

"My...my legs? You're going to have to amputate at least one of my legs?" I asked. The doctor nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so incredibly sorry, Meghan. I know dancing was your dream, but..."

"But what?"

"Because of this procedure, you might not ever be able to walk again."

"Can't I use prosthetics?"

"Meghan, we just don't know anything for certain. I know that you'll make it through, and no matter what, the hospital is here for you. We know you'll heal."

I was silent. Not one tear flowed down my face, my lip didn't quiver. My eyes weren't even watery.

They were perfectly fine.

Somehow, in some way, I think that I should have known that something like this was coming. The burning sensations in my legs weren't for nothing, of course my cancer returned. It runs in the family, apparently. Maybe that's why I reacted the way I did. I felt so good that I'd said my goodbyes and it wasn't really over, and I'd built myself up for so much before it had gone, but when one rainstorm passes, a hurricane comes. That's just how it works: whenever you think something bad happens, something even worse happens. And that "even worse" comes in right as you've started to fully heal and recuperate.

"Hello? Meghan? You okay? Do you want to see the counselor?" Dr. McAndrew asked, interrupting my train of thought.

"It's pretty late, Doctor McAndrew, I think I'm just gonna head to bed. I'm assuming you told my mother?"

"Yes, she was the first to know. I didn't want to tell you both at the same time in case she had somewhere to be, and I didn't know how each of you would react to the news. But you seem to be taking it quite well."

I nodded.

"The surgery will be in a few weeks to let you recover from the last one. Okay?" The doctor asked. "Your mother is waiting for you in your room." I nodded again and turned around, ready to head to bed.

"Goodnight, Doctor McAndrew," I said, beginning my walk to my room.

"Goodnight, Meghan," the doctor said. I walked slowly until I reached my bedroom, and opened the door to find Leo and my mother sitting on my bed. I sat between them and closed my eyes.

"Don't you ever complain about your one leg," I told Leo before laying back onto my bed. "In a matter of time I won't have any."