I'm not cut out to be the heroine

Talking with a friend again(12)

Hmmm, was that real or was that a dream? I guess it doesn't really matter either way. I'll just mentally prepare myself for both possibilities.   

This just gets more complicated doesn't it, still it seems like something nefarious is going on in the background. Hopefully it won't bother me... I'm not really in the mood.

As I exited the dorm I made eye-contact with Julius who was waiting outside. "H-hi Julius, what brings you to the girls dorm at 8:30  in the morning?" 

"You didn't answer my question yesterday." 

"Yeah, no...that's a thing and whatnot" I tried to think of a response that made sense, but failed miserably. 

"My gosh Alex, what do you want me to say?" 

His eyes widened after I called him by his old name, but then they quickly narrowed. "did Olivia tell  you that name?"

"No...you did after I saved you from danger, but I guess you might have forgot...hmm proving my identity is such a pain."

Julius opened his mouth, then closed his mouth. His eyes narrowed and he stared at me thoughtfully for a second. "What was the result of the argument we had about romance?" 

"That romance is nonsense?"

He waved his fists dramatically "no! That romance is a beautiful thing, that you should embrace with all of your heart." After his outburst he rather suddenly stopped all movement stonily. His eyes widened and he mumbled quietly "but, you can't be..."

I smiled confidently at him. "You're free to doubt me, but you know I'm not a liar." 

His expression crumbled and his sad, grey, eyes filled with tears. "A-are you okay?! What's wrong?" 

Why is he crying??? Did I do something wrong? Julius extended his hand and touched my face. "Ellie? Is it really you?" 

"Ummm, yes... are you doing alright?" 

Julius suddenly lunged forward and hugged me tightly. "J-Julius, what are you doing?" 

"I missed you so much Ellie, I can't live without you."  

Aaa, not what I wanted to hear. It's not healthy to rely on one person,  I thought we had made at least a little progress with his connections to others. 

I patted him on the back as he embraced me,  "ah,there, there" 

"Julius, can we go somewhere private?" 

Julius's hold on me tightened, and his body started to shake. 

"Calm down, everything's alright." 

Julius slowly blinked and then stopped shaking. A gentle smile appeared on his face and suddenly all the memories I had been trying to forget came rushing back. 

I had decided it would be easier to move on, that lingering on my old memories would only cause me pain. Until now I hadn't fully comprehended Julius's presence, but that smile it was the same. He had a different face and a different voice, but that gentle expression it could only belong to him.  

My emotions turned rogue and I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you were alone in this strange world."  

Julius continued to cry silently and I tried to stop myself from doing the same.  

Ack, this emotional turbulence is one of the reasons I was so reluctant to make contact. I'm gonna have to disassociate for a while after this. 

"Ellie, I can't believe it's you. Are you really here?"