Kimmi's University

Cats and Dogs pt. 2

Hey, Class! Yep, I'm back — You don't seem that enthused... Okay. Oh, what's in the bag, you ask? Well, uhh — It's just — Nothing. Excuse me while I put this away in my desk. No, Kevin! I'm not stashing cheese in my desk! Probably... Ahem, so, did you like the substitute teacher? Yeah, Ms. Greeene — Did she deliver the lesson, as expected of her? Good... Very good.

(But did she really? *skeptical*)

Okay, next thing, who did the homework? Did anyone successfully complete last night's assignment? No? Well, I'm quite disappointed — I think... That's it — I'm failing all of you. All of you are getting an F for the rest of the quarter. Don't you "But that's not fair!" me, Class. It is totally fair. You should've done the work, even if it was kind of... Not like a normal task. It's the dignity of labor, like Booker T. Washington and stuff. 

(Sigh... Please... Please, don't do this to your real-life teachers and professors. Please get your assignments in on time for my sake. Legit though, Booker is the only person I remember from my history class.)

Anyway, today's lesson — I think you'll enjoy it — Is a follow-up lesson to yesterday's lesson. Ahh, quit your complaining, Kevin. Man up — Deal with it. Since I don't think any of you were paying attention yesterday, I'll be going over the lesson again. I will be assigning the same homework also; if there be any objections, please, save the drama for your llama.

(Or your mama, if you don't have a drama llama. That's probably all of you.)

Cats and dogs, Class — Let's compare and contrast them. Why? Because that's what you were supposed to do yesterday and last night, but you didn't — None of you take me seriously, do you? Might I remind you, this class does count for your college credits. Kevin, I will call your little sister, if you don't shut your mouth.

(Ooh, I'm using the ol' "I'll call your little sister." thing. Kimmi is smart.)

Cats and dogs are very commonly kept as pets. Most of you, if not all of you, probably grew up with some sort of pet. Raise your hand, if you had a dog or a cat. That's what I thought — Almost all of you, I see. Kevin, did you not have a pet growing up? You did have a pet — Just not a dog or a cat? What kind of pet did you have? You had a goldfish... Why did I expect that? It just seems so like you to want a pet that will die in about two weeks. Fish — That's them for you.

(No offense if you had a pet goldfish -- Sometimes they live for a long time, so don't be discouraged.)

Back to the original topic; although, talking about fish gives me an idea for a later subject... Anyway, cats and dogs share many similarities, but they are also very different. Probably all of you can list several comparisons and differentiations. For starters, both are mammals, both are quadrupeds, both are vertebras. As you can tell, there are many similarities.

(This is reminiscent of middle school biology. I had to take bio like, three times.)

How about differences though? Can anyone list any differences between cats and dogs? Behavior is the most commonly observed difference between the two. I was fortunate enough to have both a canine and a feline. My dog was an absolute psycho — He would start barking for seemingly no reason at all. I think most of the time, he saw a squirrel though. What is it with dogs and squirrels? Does that even make sense?

(Seriously, why do dogs like chasing animals? Squirrels, cats, mice -- All the animals, or else my dog is really just a psychopath.)

My cat, however, was extremely chill. For a while though, she was kind of obsessed with me... Uhh, she would want to be around me constantly. If she couldn't be near me, she would cry. Actually, come to think of it — She still does it. I really don't know why...

(My dad says cats are too "independent." Pffft, independent my moo. Comment if this is normal for a cat?)

Stupid bell — It interrupted my rambling... Sigh — Anyway, I'm giving you all an extension on last night's assignment. You have until tomorrow's class to turn in that assignment. It isn't that hard, and you'll probably enjoy it... You don't want me to fail you, do you, Kevin? Good — Anyway, class is dismissed! Go — Get that work done!

(Next class... You better have that work done. You had better -- Sorry, bad grammar. I don't care sometimes... Just, mostly. Also, look at the cover photo -- My heart!)