The story that i'm it's writter

Seeking and Motivation

" I can't let you sleep without eating dinner " her mother said out of the door, not so long after that, the door opened and her daughter came out and sat behind the table, her mother smiled then sat the table " I cooked Sukiyaki " her mother said smiling as she placed the dish in front of Satomi " thank you " she said as her mother finished setting the table and sat on the chair in front of her daughter.

*Time skip*

" i'll be going tomorrow " her mother said, her tone kinda sad, Satomi paused the moment she heard her mother's words " I see..." she said, more like mumbled, then continued to eat her dish.

"but i'll be back at the end of this month" her mother said in satisfying tone and smiling closed eyes.

"With father?" Satomi asked, already knew the answer but hoped this time, it would be different.

Her mother opened her eyes by that question, her smile faded away, seemed she didn't like the question her daughter asked "i'm not sure" as much as she said it coldly, there was a dash of sadness in her tone.

"There's not all of us sitting behind this table you know" Satomi said, however it was more like a reminder to her mother.

"we supposed to not talk about this sweetie" her mother was getting irritated.

" for how long?" Satomi said, this time, her tone had anger.

"I don't know" her mother said kinda loudly, soon regretted yelling, she closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh, grabbed her forehead with her left hand.

"Sorry, i shouldn't have brought this up, also thanks for the food, i'm stuffed" Satomi said quickly, regretted arguing her mother as she stood up, heading to her room. But was stopped when her mother talked again.

"Actually, the reason why I want to back at the end of this month, is because of your exams" her mother said, changing the subject and atmosphere as well.

"You remembered!?" Satomi's eyes widened, turned back to her mother.

"Of course i do, i'm looking to see you pass all the exams, specially science" her mother said in happy yet stern tone while smiling closed eyes.

"Science?" Satomi asked

"Yeah, you're going to be a doctor after all, right?" Her mother turned her head back to her daughter, smiling at her, while Satomi froze in her place, mouth shut closed, not knowing what to say.

"Y-yeah, i'm going to sleep now, good night" she rushed to her room and shut the door as she sat against the door and hugged her knees.

*next morning*

She lazily got up, packed her things and got ready as she gazed at blank and some crumpled papers on her table again, she rolled her eyes, opened the door just to exit her room and close the door, leaving the papers behind.

She saw no sign of her mother in the leaving room, guessed she left earlier, then found a letter on the table in center.

As she grabbed it, she realized it's from her mother, she opened it and read "I had to leave earlier, i left you pancakes for breakfast in the fridge" she finished reading her mother's letter and placed it back on the table "I knew it" she thought and headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge's door to find pancakes on a dish with honey on them "you know pancakes are not really my thing, specially with honey on them" her tone kinda disgusted as she closed the fridge's door and went out of home.

*at school*

It was free time and Satomi was about to go and find somewhere uncrowded in the school yard when she saw her friend again, short dark golden hair girl with dark green eyes appeared in front of her "Satomi chan?" Her friend asked, seemed a bit excited, while on the other hand, Satomi didn't know what to say, they were in the same school but their reactions was like they haven't seen each other for long time "Nana?" Satomi asked confused, already about the whole situation.

*time skip*

"HUH!? YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME!?" Nana yelled, not believing what she just heard "what do you mean you don't draw anymore!?" Nana asked, dying to hear answer "it's not like i don't want, i just...don't know what to draw, whenever i grab the pencil, it's like everything in my mind gets blurry, i can't exactly find what i want to draw, besides, my drawing has already gotten more messy now, so what's the point?" Satomi said, she also hated the fact she just said, but she couldn't deny that she likes to draw again, but she didn't know what to draw or where even she should start from.

"What do you mean what's the point? You seem to forgot how much your drawings were popular at school" Nana said in stern, yet both anger and sadness could be felt in her tone "it wasn't popular in the whole school, just between some of our classmates" Satomi said with a sad smile, trying to convince herself that her drawings weren't that good but that seemed to no use, even if her drawing were messy back then, her friends and classmates loved her drawings and she couldn't deny it.

"That's still appreciating, what happened all of sudden?" Nana asked, her expression was like she was about to cry "you were so passionate in drawing, you would bring them everyday and whenever you finished your new drawing, we were the first ones to see it, beside your drawing, everyone loved your story, it was until that day..." she paused, then continued "you suddenly stopped bringing your drawings, and whenever we asked you why don't you bring your drawings anymore, you just avoided the question, it was after a while i thought you don't want us to see your drawings anymore, but then you stopped writing your story since i found out even in your weblog, your last update is long ago, but i never asked you, thought you don't want to talk about it, till yesterday" Nana finished, but not completely, Satomi was speechless, but shocked at the last word of her sentence as she looked at Nana, eyes widen.

"Satomi, why'd you ran away out of the shop when you found out i was in shop?" Nana asked, really wanted to know the answer, like why exactly she would do that? Satomi was quiet for a few seconds before speaking, they both recognized each other that day "I didn't want to be noticed that i went to a comic shop, specially by schoolmates" she said, looking down.

"But-" Nana was interrupted

"I lost them" Satomi said, her tone and expression lack of emotion

"Huh?" Her friend didn't understand what exactly she meant

"My sketches, i lost them back then, on that rainy evening after school, when i was on my way to home" she said, still not much emotion in her tone but it was obvious she was sad.

"After that day, i didn't know what to draw, they were my newest sketches of the characters of my story, and after that, i couldn't redraw them, and i couldn't find my old sketches" Satomi finished, her friend was confused, didn't know what to say, suddenly an idea popped in her mind "maybe you should search more places, and perhaps this could help you" Nana said and unzipped her bag, Satomi's eyes widened by what her friend just brought out of her bag, it was the last volume of her long lost favorite manga, nostalgia hitted her.

"Take it" Nana said, handing the manga to her friend

"W-what!?" Satomi was shocked of what just happened

"Take it, i know the way you looked at it back in the comic shop, plus it's your favorite right? I give it to you" she said, waiting for Satomi to take the book.

As much as satomi didn't want to grab the manga, she knew deep inside, she wanted it, and it could help her to draw again, she slowly and hesitantly grabbed the manga, scanning it's cover.

"Are you sure?" Satomi asked as she looked at her friend, her voice trembling.

"Of course, i hope it'll help you draw again" she said smiling and chuckled, while Satomi was busy looking at the manga she hasn't seen in long.

*time skip*

She rushed to her room, dropping the bag on the ground and turned on the lights, she searched everywhere in her room for her sketches and between the books, after a few seconds, she realized she is on her knees on the floor and she is surrounded by the books and papers all around her and yet didn't find her sketches, suddenly she realized there's still one book left in the closet, she reached her hand to grab the book, bringing it out, she slowly began to open it with her hands trembling, and eyes shut closed as she opened it, once she slowly opened her eyes, her eyes widened and lit up.

"I found them" she said lowly, yet joyfully.

A/N : this took me long, anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter.