She and I talked about my sexuality: bi, feminine, attracted to masculine features
Also inner appearance complex: being flat(I used wanna be thicc), plain face, asymmetrical face
She told I'm not like a smart person when I talking about complex.
She said that I have high standards, it can be motivation but it also can be self-destructive harm
I pretend like confident but ironically insecure a lot
And anger issue, violent toxic anger issues.
I told her I want to use anger effectively, not destructive way that I used to.
Lastly, she told to meet trustworthy people, at least one person I can truly be understood. Someone who accepts imperfect me.
I don't think these all issues can't be easily solved.
Maybe lifetime task.
I have two sides of myself.
Confident, intellectual, pride, narcissistic me
And insecure, vulnerable, needy, depressed me
All of them originated by self hate,....lifetime tasks in front of me.
