Anastasia » l.h

FOUR

Frowning seems to be my specialty - it's as if I have a permanent frown on my face, unless I'm around Luke. But that's why I'm frowning, he's not beside me as he was when he had fallen asleep. I push aside any thoughts if him leaving me here alone and hope that he's just gone downstairs to have a drink or something. Speaking of which, I feel thirsty at the thought of coffee or tea, so I carefully unwrap myself from Luke's bedspread, which smells like a cologne that my father used to use - I think it was a Playboy brand, and my mother loved it. So did I, but as he had left, the scent had left as well.

I stalk down the stairs of the large home and hear chatter in the kitchen, "Don't be such an asshole, Ben." that was Luke.

"Why, Lukey-poo?" that nickname annoys me and it's not even mine. "Do you have a crush on her? Little anorexic Ana?"

I cringe and start to turn, but a creak in the floorboards stops the bickering and I hear Luke, "Hello? Ana, is that you?"

I reveal my frazzled self to the two tall brothers and ignore Ben's cold stare. "Um.." I say, rather awkwardly. "I was just leaving. I shan't disrupt your conversation."

Ben's glare turns to a confused expression and he leans down to Luke and whispers something, ever so just loud enough for me to hear; "What does shan't mean?"

I let out a laugh and sigh. "It means shall not."

"Oh."

"Ana, don't leave." Luke pleads, pushing past his thickly built brother. "Ben and I were just finishing up. Would you like some breakfast?"

A problem I've always had is thinking too much. No matter how small the situation is, I can think about it until I cry. This is one of those moments. If I decline, like I want to, I feel slightly more polite. But knowing that Luke cares for me, he will most likely make me eat something. I can't have that.

"Um.." I shiver at the sight of the two nearly identical boys looking at me. Okay, maybe they're not really identical, but they look awfully similar and both share the height factor. They must get it from Andrew, seeing as Liz isn't very tall. "No. No, I'm not hungry."

Ben scoffs, shaking his head as he stalks off to the living room. Luke, however, frowns at me. His eyes twinkle with sympathy - it nearly makes me want to scream at him, tell him how he doesn't know a single thing about being like me. But I'm too polite, and in too much of a decent mood to ruin my own and Luke's day. "Are you sure?" Luke whispers. "You need to eat something, Ana."

"No, I'm fine." I smile. It immediately turns to a frown. "I've become awfully chubby. 30 kilograms, Luke. That's not good."

"I know it's not good!" Luke snaps. "It's not enough, Ana! You're so skinny, you need someone to help you. Please Ana, eat something."

I furrow my brow. "Luke," I sternly say. "You can make me eat, but you know my condition. I'll just throw it up again."

Luke frowns, something he's been doing a lot lately. "Ana." he whispers. "Please, this one time. I know what it feels like. Even the thought of eating something makes you cringe, makes you feel fat. But trust me, you're not fat. Those looks you get at school? The ones you don't deserve? They're because of-"

"They're because I'm fat."

"No!" Luke snaps, stepping towards me. He stares into my eyes, the proximity between us making me nervous. "You're not! You're beautiful, Ana! You're not fat! You're skinny! The looks you get are because of how skinny you are! They think you're desperate for beauty, when really, you're already beautiful!" I feel tears brimming in my eyes. He's lying to me, I know he is.

"You're lying." I say firmly.

Luke groans and snaps, grabbing my face and pressing his lips to mine. I panic, not knowing how to respond, but I slowly kiss back and begin to feel a strange feeling in the out of my stomach - possibly butterflies. I've never done this before, what if I'm not doing it right?! Oh god, he probably hates it! I really should pull back.. but I'm enjoying it too much..

After about 40 seconds of kissing, Luke pulls away and leans his forehead to mine. "You," he starts, "are so beautiful. You're not fat." he adds something that I can just hear; "I'm fat."

"Lucas!" I step away from him, frowning. "You are not fat! For gods sake, you're hot! You're perfect." I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. I just called him hot. To his face. Oh god..

Suddenly, it feel my figure being wrapped in his strong arms. "I'm far from perfect." he whispers.

"So am I." I reply quietly, shivering. He holds me tight and kisses my cheek. I feel extremely tingly and the whole situation is far too cliche for my liking, but I smile anyway. The first genuine smile I have mustered today.