My Journey

Spiritual Awakening

Hi!!! I know it's been a while since I last updated. I've been very busy lately. I've been sorting through all the clutter in my bedroom and redecorating it. ocean themed of course!!! I'm halfway through it right now and I have to shift some mirrors and scarfs off my bed before I go to sleep in a minute. I have also been going through a spiritual awakening. I have been through lots of things in my life even though I'm only 13. It's funny how people think age is significant. I wouldn't want anyone to go through anything I did but unfortunately this world has many things wrong with it. I plan to change that in the future. It's amazing how one month can change everything you know. I realise the greatest thing in life is the companionship of other people. When I was going through things I needed desperately for someone to hold me in their arms and tell me it's gonna be ok. All I want is for someone to love me. No one understands me, the things I know and have almost destroyed me, the secrets I keep. I just want someone to understand and comfort me. That is truly the greatest treasure in life. If you have that bond with someone, don't ever let it go away. You don't know what you have until it's gone. I envy them so much... I console myself by realising that everything you've gone through is to make you a stronger person. Anyway, that was very deep... I have discovered a bit more of myself now. I believe I said earlier on that I'm in Ravenclaw. I have been reading so many darkharry fan fictions lately. I really like Bellatrix Lestrange by the way. Narcissa is also cool as well. Yesterday, I made a pottery tablet and painted it Ravenclaw blue. I'm going to paint "Wit beyond measure is mans greatest treasure." On the stone tomorrow. A couple of hours ago I came to another spiritual conclusion. I realised that I discovered lots of things so I would know of all the different realities and that anything is possible. I feel like I have rediscovered myself suddenly it's so strange!!! I have a huge thirst for knowledge now. I want to learn anything I can of the universe. I never really understood the appeal of knowledge. Maybe because all learning was referred as school knowledge. I flipping want to know everything I can about anything. It was a bit overwhelming earlier!!! Oddly enough, I keep saying fancy words I wouldn't before such as antagonise, berate and chastise. Maybe it's all the books I've been reading... Like 3+ a day. Anyway, I know what I want to do in life better now. Singing and piano, knowledge, helping other people and being happy. I love the ocean but it wasn't meant for me. It was almost like an obsession. It was meant to keep me focused on doing something so I wouldn't lose my mind. I kept deluding myself into thinking that it would fix all my problems and make me happy. I spent years on it. I've learned my lesson now. I could go on for a few more hours but I think I have rambled too much and I need to get some sleep and move things off my bed. Sorry for the really long update. I might have talked too much.