Opening Up

In Your Arms, Pt. 1

*2 nights later*

I gasp awake. Sasha's sometimes a heavy sleeper, even though we're not supposed to be. Our dorms have a phone attached to the wall. You can call a dorm by typing the cabin number.

I need someone to talk to. Eren's probably awake, so I call his dorm.

"Hello?" he whispers.

"Eren. It's me. I can't sleep."

"I miss mom too, Mikasa. But I'm focusing on avenging her, dreaming of the titans' extinction. Try thinking of something that motivates you, then try to sleep. Good night, Mikasa."

"Goodnight, Eren." I say, frowning. I can't think of anything to help me fall asleep.

I call Krista's dorm. Ymir picks up and hangs up, saying "Lay a hand on Krista and I'll kill you." Okay, then.

My last resort. I call Jean's dorm.

"Hello?" Connie picks up.

"Hey, It's Mikasa. Sorry to bother you, but can you switch rooms with me? Sasha's here, and can you put Jean on the phone?"

"Sure, let me wake him up." he replies.

"I'll wake Sasha up." I agree.

"Hey, Sasha, I have a potato for you."

She wakes up almost instantly.

"What? Mikasa, you liar!"

"Shhh, I did you a favour and Connie's coming over."

"Potatoes are still better..." she says.

"Too bad. I'm gonna go switch with Connie now."

"Wait, Mikasa. Connie has a dorm with Jean... Mikasa!! I knew it. You liiiike him."

"Shhh, Sasha. The phone is still on." I realize.

I turn back to the phone.

"Hello?" I say.

"M-mikasa? Why are you coming to my dorm?" Jean says.

"I-I'm sorry, I say. I don't have to come if you don't want me to." I say, embarrassed.

"Don't be silly, Mikasa. I don't mind, I'm just asking why." he assures me.

"I can't sleep without having nightmares. I realized that I slept on the roof with you and nothing happened..." I confess.

I hear his voice lighten up a bit in his whispers. "Y-you want to sleep next to me again?" he asks. He sounds really nervous.

"If you don't mind, I say. I can just sleep in Connie's bed." I say.

"N-no, you can sleep beside me." he stutters.

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute." I say.

I hang up the phone and I make my way down the hall. Connie passes me and we exchange a look.

I arrive at their dorm, and I walk in slowly.

"Jean?" I say. He's laying down on one side of his bed. I'm pretty sure the other side is for me.

I close and lock the door, then climb in beside him.

"I'm sorry if I'm taking up your precious bed space." I say.

He says: "You're more precious than my bed space." He realizes what he says. "O-oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I mean I did mean that, shit, um, my bad. I don't know what I'm saying."

I turn from my back to face him. He faces me as well, and his cheeks turn red. You can see them in the moonlight. I put my hand on one of the burning red cheeks and say:

"Thank you."

It's dead silence until he breaks it.

"My father wasn't really a part of my life. My mom raised me. My nickname is Jean-boy, and I love omelettes." He says out of the blue.

"Jean-boy, that's so adorable." I reply. I could feel my cheeks turn pink. "Why would you tell me these things?"

"I trust you," he says.

He goes on: "Before I enrolled in the military, I had a dream. I met this stunning, beautiful girl. I woke up, and I drew her instantly. I skipped a meal trying to re-picture her."

"What did she look like? I ask, the slightest bit jealous.

"She looked like you. Exactly like you. That explains why I fell in love with you when I first met you."

"Fell... in love.. with me?" I ask. I hide my face in my scarf.

He realizes what he said. He covers his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I know how you feel about me. I shouldn't have said that." he says, looking away.

"Jean. I enjoy your company. Maybe you and I should... hang out more? We are in each other's squads." I say, not revealing that I sort of do like him. Armin had a good point.

"I'd like that" he replies. "You should sleep." We have an expedition real soon."

I agree. I rest my head on his arm and my arm on his chest.

"Please don't let go of me," I warn. "I'll probably wake up. Please, stay with me."

"Always." he says, so faintly that it's almost out of earshot. But I hear it. Is that what he said last time? When we slept on the rooftop? I'm pretty sure it was.

I move a bit closer and close my eyes. This gesture probably meant a lot to him and he does something.
It was the softest, faintest thing. I could barely feel it, but I still did.

He kissed my forehead.

My eyes open. And he's looking at me.

"S-sorry. I won't do that again." He says.

It felt nice. Is this how mom and dad felt about each other? I blush, smile, then tuck my head under his chin.

"I don't mind, Jean-boy." I say, as I drift off into sleep.