you trek back to tom nook's tiny ass building. he's there, standing in all of his glory with his apron. just his apron. as always.
after he finally notices your existence, he gives you another task: write a thank you letter to one of his best customers, bob.
"stop the motherfuckin music-" you abruptly say. "i was planning on quitting, skunk."
"quitting?" he echos. "silly, t̶̨̞̼͇̘̓͠ḧ̸̭̬͔̦̝́͜e̷̢̛̥̺͈͉̠͉͋̑̊̓̃͊̕ͅͅṟ̶̛̗̦̥̜̱͖͙̝̀͐̑͂̿͐̀̇̃ę̶̨͉͔͖̦̰̂̏̀͋̔̇̓̕͠ ̴̨̩̘̩̻͖̥̩̱̏̐͂̅̑͛̆͝į̵̟͈͔͖͖̇͑͗̾͋̚͠͝s̶͎͕̓̅ ̸̧̛̯̺̰̰̂̈́͐̓̄̾͗͘n̷̡̛̪̦̫͚̉̌́ō̴̧͇͎̫̝͕̽ ̴̲̗̯͍͙̙̥̖̼̳̏͗̿q̶̢̼͈̠̩̘̰̭̰̟́̕̕ǔ̴̟̙̭͎̑̓͑̈͋̂͝i̷̢͓̘͖̮̰̣̘̇̀̎͊̌̋̓͋͛̈́t̶̜̯͖͍̟͚̜̾͒̀̚͜͝ͅt̵̢̟͓͎̼̻͆̃̌̃̍i̷͈̪̞͚̻͖̻͍̰̒̃̄́͗̂͋̈́̒͝n̵̗͍̣͉̺̼͑͜ġ̷̨͈̜̝̝̳̲̣̱̑̂̈́̄̔̐."
"ain't that illegal then? stupid ass bitch." you murmur loud enough for tom nook to hear.
"oi, the way ur talkin is a bit rude, innit?" the raccoon spoke up angrily but it didn't sound very scary.
"i'll write the letter, i ain't no bitch"
"great!" he pulls out some paper–hey where the fuck did that come from–and hands it to you. "get to writing, bitch"
you spit on him and walk away, finding the nearest table. on that paper you write "suck my fucking ass u rachet ass bITCH. u r a bitch: b-i-c-t-h." you coat that one part of the envelope in your saliva and walk to the nearest mail place.
"hi im pel-" the pelican began, only to be stopped by a bitch.
"yeah, i don't give a fuck." you yawn and give the envelope to the bird "send this to uhhhh, idk, who's tanuki's bitch?"
"you mean bo-" again, the pelican was interrupted.
"AH, BOB." you shout and leave.
.....
"aye, bitch ! open tf up !" you bang on the door to tom nook's shack
"ai, dArlInG" he says and walks up to you, kissing your cheek
"wait okay one wheres the consent
two ur literally like a rat this is illegal
three u ugly asf luv, so get your furry paws away from me" you vigorously rub his rabies off your face and sigh "fuck off, raccoon dog"
------
and it ends here omg
jk this is what i do when im bored as hell
