Unchained #Wattys2020

9. Memories

I woke up a few hours ago. I'm trying to face this situation as if it's normal, doing normal things. I had breakfast, shower and I had to feed my roommates.
Now I'm lying again on the couch. I must find a way to escape, otherwise I'm gonna get completely mad. There's only one way: I have to convince Gabriel that it's not all lost, that he was just unlucky, that he's gonna find the love of his life.
He is charming, charismatic, beautiful. His hair, black as charcoal, is perfectly balanced by his white and smooth skin, which almost looks like glass.
Nobody can tell he is not handsome: he is tall, has magnetic eyes and elegant manners. He always dresses proper and has a deep and soothing voice.
I don't know what he did to all of the other women of his life but, if he acted the same way he did with me, I'm not surprised that they ran off. The story of his family is very sad but he found a way of coming out of it, of being a better person.
I also faced very dark moments during my life but I can't talk about this with him.
Time goes by while I keep asking myself questions and questions, without realizing that it's already afternoon and wolves are hungry again. I take their food and follow Gabriel's advices. As soon as I put their food on the floor, they pounce on it and quickly finish it, leaving only the bones.
Tehya comes again near to me, it looks like she wants some cuddles. I gently put her on my legs and caress her. She falls asleep in a few minutes, always looking beautiful.
I've been wanting a pet for years but I'm not even able to take care of myself. When I'll get out of here... wait, what am I saying? Do I really think that I'll ever get out of here?
I must find a weak point, his Achilles heel. I must make him understand that this isn't the right way to solve his problems. What the hell did doctor D'Amato do with him? How couldn't she realize how dangerous he was? She knew, she knew everything! That's why she hacked his medical records. They are hiding something, a darker secret. But why letting me visit him?
My legs start shaking and Tehya notices it, so she puts her little foot on my chest, as if she wants to try to reassure me.
It's 6 pm. The door finally opens and Gabriel comes in.
<< Good evening Ginevra, I'm sorry to bother you so soon but I couldn't wait to talk to you, so I ended my meetings as soon as I could.>>
<< Don't worry. Lie down on the couch, please. This is supposed to be like my usual medical examinations, right? Let's try to recreate the atmosphere. >>
I stand up and try to recreate my medical office. I take a paper and a pen and I put my hair up.
<< Let's start. First, I want you to tell me the last memory you have of your mother...>>
<< My mother? There's nothing to say about this topic. She is dead, can you understand? Dead! >>
<< Keep calm, please. Take a deep breathe and let's start again. Tell me about the first female human being that you can remember.>>
<< You're good at turning arguments. >>
<< Well, I'm a psychiatrist. But you didn't answer yet.>>
<< Fine. My mother was a very strict woman. Her father was a soldier, died at war when she was just 25. He gave her a military education: she never had a boyfriend before her degree, because college came before everything.
During her second year post-degree, she met my father at a job interview in a law practice. They got engaged and, in a few years, they married.
I was very young when they told me about this so my memories are fuzzy.
Before they were thirty, they traveled around the world and saw most of it. During a trip to Japan, they conceived my sister, Anna.
The initial excitement was soon replaced by a severe depression, because my mother felt like she broke her wings. The long years of study should have give her freedom, not another prison. The real tragedy came when she got pregnant with me, unscheduled and undesired. I've been feeling guilty for years just because I was born.
When I grew up, my father gifted a trip to Australia to my mother. During the month before their trip, I saw like a rebirth of my mother. She was always happy and didn't complain anymore. That trip represented to her like the day you finally get out of jail. They left and never came back.
My grandparents tried to explain that we would have never seen them again and that, since then, they became two shiny stars in the sky, that we could watch but not touch.
My sister struggled with eating disorders for her whole adolescence, constantly telling me that I couldn't understand her pain. But I could.
On the other hand, I was not able to relate to any female human being anymore, because every girl reminded me of my mother. This started to change at college, where I started to date some girls but it didn't go very well... and nowadays I still can't have a long relationship with any woman.>>
<< Are you able to tell me some examples?>>
<< Uhm... yes. My second-to-last girlfriend was probably the most important one. Her name was Amanda. I met her at a fund-raiser hosted by my company at one of my houses, in Los Angeles. Amanda came to accompany Emma, one of my best friends at college. We looked at each other the whole evening and, at the end of the auction, I went to talk to her. Luckily Emma understood the situation and tried to help me. We were very close friends at college, we didn't only study together but spent most of the time together. We shared each other's secret and my college studies, with her, had been only partly heavy.
We hadn't meet for ages because we didn't live in the same city but we tried to keep in touch as much as we could.
She understood right away my interest in Amanda, so she organized a date with her. I'm not even able to put into words our chemistry, it felt like we'd known each other forever. We became engaged after a few months and I was firmly convinced that we would have married. Unfortunately, one day I found a note from her saying: "Gabriel, forgive me, but I can't do it. As much as I love, I'm not ready to sacrifice my whole life for a man."
I spent several months in the "blue room", yes, my "sadness room". Blue is the saddest color for me, since I had known that my parents spent their last moments in the sky. I went through a very bad depression, that didn't let me live my life normally. I only went out for work and everybody noticed my situation.
I started to heal when I met Andrea at a business conference in Seattle.
Although we didn't live in the same city, me managed to meet at least twice a month. Everything was amazing and I started to think of moving to Seattle, but she didn't want a serious relationship and dumped me with a phone call.
Luckily, that time I had already met Dr. D'Amato, who saved me.>>
<< Can you tell me something more about the therapy she gave you?>>
<< Well, I can say that it was... Unique. I met many psychiatrists in my life but none like her. She's been more... "practical">>
<< Tell me more, please.>>
<< Once she solved my insomnia problems with drugs, that I'm still using, we started a... How can I say... "physical" therapy.>>
<< Did you have sex with her? >>
<< Yes, also. Under hypnosis. >>
<< I'm afraid I don't entirely understand, Gabriel...>>
<< No, I think you understood very well. She told me that she wanted to understand if that was my problem, so...>>
I'm shocked. I'm still thinking that this a nightmare or one of those TV pranks and there is a hidden camera somewhere. Is he really talking about Dr. D'Amato? The same Dr. D'Amato I meet everyday? She's one of the most professional doctors I know. I can't believe this.
<< Gabriel, listen, did you take your psychotropic drugs today? Have you ever experienced any hallucination? >>
I already know the answer, this is one of the few informations I read in his medical records.
<< Yes, right after my relationship with Amanda was over. But I've not experienced any for months. They were probably caused by severe depression.>>
<< What can you see now? Describe this room.>>
<< Ok. Well, there's not that much: there's this table, that furniture, the sofa...>>
<< Anything strange? Are we alone? >>
<< If you don't consider my wolves, yes, we are alone.>>
I take a deep breathe but I'm still devastated. If yesterday I thought that this situation strained credulity, today I'm experiencing the paranormal.
<< Ok Gabriel, thank you for giving me all these precious informations. I understand that it wasn't easy for you. The only advice I can give you, at the moment, is to change psychiatrist. I can give you some names...>>
<< Why? I have you now.>>
<< But I can't give you any drug here.>>
<< Don't play games with me. You didn't give me any answer to my problems.>>
<< I need some time to think about this, at least two days. I'm exhausted and I've never faced a situation like this before. It's for your good, trust me.>>
<< If you think this is the only way, I will give you all the time that you need. I need to get out of this and you are the only one who can help me.>>
<< I'm sure. One last thing, when the "colored rooms" were built? >>
<< Many years. It all started as a game but now it's serious.>>
<< Perfect, that's all. You can go now. Goodnight. >>
I finally sit on the couch and notice something I never really cared about before: to communicate to the wolves that they mustn't kill me, he points to me and then moves away the meat, as if he's telling them that they would die of hunger if they touch me.
They have a unique way of communicating: there are precise gestures with a precise meaning. And Gabriel is able to overpower them.
Then he opens the door and goes away, leaving me again alone in this hell.