Poetry

Me

Have you ever felt the heavy burden of the relentless need for approval.
The need to make those around you proud and not to let their perfect image of you disappear.
The constant encouragement doesn't feel like it anymore it's starting to sound to repetitive and less helpful.
No ones to blame it's you.
Your head is the one to blame.
It's in a bad place as people say.
But really your just alone and stuck, stuck in the temporary loop of the same things everyday.
You were ok you took it in your stride but then those strides got smaller and lonelier and no amount of texts or contact could help.
And you started spiraling.
Spiraling down and up like a yo-yo some days good and others bad.
But you smile because that perfect image they have doesn't involve you being sad so you don't say anything.
They push you again to go further and you try but can't.
It's not what you want to do.
What do I want to do? Be alone? Be with others? Or just exist? Because I seem to be doing a bad job at that so far.
I want sleep.
I want something.
I need answers.
You ever feel like your always there for anyone if they ever ask but yet you feel like no one can help you as they are empty words that don't sink in?
Like they mean the best with what they say yet your mind won't acknowledge the kind words.
Your mind continues to believe that maybe how your feeling will blow over.
Maybe it's your period
Maybe it's your lack of sleep
Maybe I'm hungry
Or maybe I'm just kidding myself
You do need help
Or is it just one of those days?